StepMonsters and other scary second parenting issues

[jelli]

Originally Posted by Bard

Ok this is a Hard topic for me but sharing is healing..

My Bio Mother and my Dad split when I was 3 and my mom remarried to a man named Spike he brought two boys with him older then I and I just became in the way more so then normal Spike was just mean I had always wondered why my dad had stopped getting me and when I was older I found out. there was a day when my dad brought me home and I had a melt down I wanted my Daddy and Spike backhanded me across the room and my Dad almost drew his service weapon.
After my mother had died I was reunited with my Dad and his wife and neither was prepared to deal with the issues I had as a result of my mothers death and abuse I had suffered in my dad's absence. now Sandy did not want kids and it showed one time for a infraction her method of punishing me was to take a horse whip to me. Also while she taught me to ride and show horses I was never good enough EVER and if I failed to meet her standards I was belittled or worse. in the end I was shipped to a grandparents then to a foster home..

on a good note my dad divorced Sandy and met a wonderful woman who became my step-mom she healed my dad and with out realizing it our family
Jen has been more of a mother to me then I had ever known but she never pushed it She listens to me and let me come to her BUT by the time she came into my life I was 17 and most of our relationship has been with me as a adult but I see Jenn with my daughter and I know I wish I would have let her in sooner.

OK now my daughter who is the product of a broken home now as her mother and I have split. and now Desd is in the position of being a step-mom and that title was giver to her by Abby with out any encouragement it is just how Abby sees her
Abby knows no one can or will replace mer mother or I but she is gaining more family and she loves it
the rest we will take as it comes with communication I don't expect dead to have to discipline Abby but if it needs to be done and I am not there well I trust Desd
As always we will talk it all out and love each other I have seen examples of how and WHAT I don't want to be or ever expose Abby to so I won't
Sorry I have been long here
unfortunately there is much more to my story I glossed over parts btu again it showed me how I will never be to my child or should Desd and I be blessed children

Let me first say this: I am so sorry you were ever mistreated. Nobody(child or adult) deserves that type of abuse.

It warmed my heart to read a good(read: healthier) woman came int your father and your life when she did and you took a chance on letting her love you. Now you have another good woman to love you and your Abby. Props to Desd for taking on such a role.

I don't know if you will ever experience it, but also be prepared for Abby to make attempts at putting you and Desd against each other. T and I thought we were solid, but have had many times where the rascals snuck in on us.

Communication is key. Sometimes we believe we have talk about everything possible and think we have a game plan... kids are crafty let me tell you. HAHAHA

Which brings me to another point - keep a good sense of humor.