I don't think she's out there

mariamma · 01-19-2012, 01:04 PM

Hi Lettertodaddy,
I've recently given up as well. It hurts too much to want something that the Universe keeps telling me I can't have. And that's the biggest part of why I've given up. I've been searching for almost 2 years and no one wants a relationship (I'm poor, have 3 kids and I'm missing teeth seem to be the deal-breakers). At least no women that I want want me. Lots of men do. No butch women want me.
The hard part (for me) is admitting this and accepting it. The easy part is moving on. Our culture tells us that we must be forfilled through partnerships and marriages but honestly, marriages tend to add years to men's lives. Do lesbians and male-ID people often or always benefit from being with another? Can we grow and enjoy life with only emotional contacts and no exchange of bodily fluids? I hope I can. Having animals helps. An emotional connection with another at home brings joy to the home. And that's what I really want (well, daily sex too but a quality emotion connection is a beautiful thing and nothing to sneeze at).
I've been a Goddess-loving pagan since 14 and a lesbian since 16. I have 6 sisters (7 really but I never met my black sister) and sisterhood has always been important to me. Loving women comes natural. I think loving women and having affairs can and will sustain me. And I have not given up on casual sex.
I'm 42 and the Universe throws curve-balls all the time. But another big part of what's changed in my heart is ... I can never trust a person who cannot love me with all my flaws. Can't say as I blame them. Loving another person is hard, takes intent and focus and can leave one wrecked if you choose wrong. Flaws are red flags.
I wish you luck in your life. Enjoy the love of the cat on your lap.

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01-19-2012, 01:04 PM	#20
mariamma Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: single Join Date: May 2011 Location: Oregon Posts: 352 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,458 Thanked 1,115 Times in 281 Posts Rep Power: 9628891	Hi Lettertodaddy, I've recently given up as well. It hurts too much to want something that the Universe keeps telling me I can't have. And that's the biggest part of why I've given up. I've been searching for almost 2 years and no one wants a relationship (I'm poor, have 3 kids and I'm missing teeth seem to be the deal-breakers). At least no women that I want want me. Lots of men do. No butch women want me. The hard part (for me) is admitting this and accepting it. The easy part is moving on. Our culture tells us that we must be forfilled through partnerships and marriages but honestly, marriages tend to add years to men's lives. Do lesbians and male-ID people often or always benefit from being with another? Can we grow and enjoy life with only emotional contacts and no exchange of bodily fluids? I hope I can. Having animals helps. An emotional connection with another at home brings joy to the home. And that's what I really want (well, daily sex too but a quality emotion connection is a beautiful thing and nothing to sneeze at). I've been a Goddess-loving pagan since 14 and a lesbian since 16. I have 6 sisters (7 really but I never met my black sister) and sisterhood has always been important to me. Loving women comes natural. I think loving women and having affairs can and will sustain me. And I have not given up on casual sex. I'm 42 and the Universe throws curve-balls all the time. But another big part of what's changed in my heart is ... I can never trust a person who cannot love me with all my flaws. Can't say as I blame them. Loving another person is hard, takes intent and focus and can leave one wrecked if you choose wrong. Flaws are red flags. I wish you luck in your life. Enjoy the love of the cat on your lap.