Respecting Women's Space as a transgender male

Daryn · 05-29-2010, 11:32 AM

-Do you still feel like you should be welcomed into women's only space after you own your male ID?

If it is very clearly women's only space, No I have not expectation of being welcome. In the community, I live in there are some events where transmen are welcome into women's events that are not promoted as women's only space and whose publicity in fact state transguys are OK, then I expect it's OK to be there

-How do you try to show respect for the women that need and want thier own space?

I stay away. I don't need to be in a space where I am not wanted.

For my own reasons, I choose to be male in the body I was born with and to not change my gender legally. However, I don't think I belong at MWMF. My ex used to bug me to go to MI with her and told me that there were women who looked far more butch than I do there. Ouch. She did not see me as I see myself. I still would never go to MI with their current policies.

OTOH, I live in a world that sees my gender as female and that makes life complex. There is a women's network at work that does not exclude men and I sometimes go to their meetings/events.

And given my situation, I don't think I belong in all male space either. So I would not do that. There are times when I want to hang out with my best male friend (should have been my brother) and I don't want his wife around. I think it hurts her feelings but there are times when I want one on one with all kinds of friends without partners/spouses.

Probably the only quasi-questionable thing I have done is attend a yoga class for women (not lesbian space and not CR or political at all). I am older, overweight, and have old injuries and the point of this class was to be a place where it was an easy, low level class with more focus on effort than perfection. There wasn't any talking or real bonding and I went with my former partner so I was not interacting with anyone else for partner poses. Again, she asked me to go. And we were the only queers in class. Since I have not transitioned, no one was uncomfortable.

05-29-2010, 11:32 AM	#10
Daryn Timed Out How Do You Identify?: genderqueer leaning male Preferred Pronoun?: he/ze Relationship Status: open to persuasion..... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: OR Posts: 185 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 209 Thanked 281 Times in 81 Posts Rep Power: 0	-Do you still feel like you should be welcomed into women's only space after you own your male ID? If it is very clearly women's only space, No I have not expectation of being welcome. In the community, I live in there are some events where transmen are welcome into women's events that are not promoted as women's only space and whose publicity in fact state transguys are OK, then I expect it's OK to be there -How do you try to show respect for the women that need and want thier own space? I stay away. I don't need to be in a space where I am not wanted. For my own reasons, I choose to be male in the body I was born with and to not change my gender legally. However, I don't think I belong at MWMF. My ex used to bug me to go to MI with her and told me that there were women who looked far more butch than I do there. Ouch. She did not see me as I see myself. I still would never go to MI with their current policies. OTOH, I live in a world that sees my gender as female and that makes life complex. There is a women's network at work that does not exclude men and I sometimes go to their meetings/events. And given my situation, I don't think I belong in all male space either. So I would not do that. There are times when I want to hang out with my best male friend (should have been my brother) and I don't want his wife around. I think it hurts her feelings but there are times when I want one on one with all kinds of friends without partners/spouses. Probably the only quasi-questionable thing I have done is attend a yoga class for women (not lesbian space and not CR or political at all). I am older, overweight, and have old injuries and the point of this class was to be a place where it was an easy, low level class with more focus on effort than perfection. There wasn't any talking or real bonding and I went with my former partner so I was not interacting with anyone else for partner poses. Again, she asked me to go. And we were the only queers in class. Since I have not transitioned, no one was uncomfortable.