It's Time to Boycott Arizona

[AtLast]

Originally Posted by dreadgeek

Susan:

If my Spock-like demeanor is ever frustrating to you, just remember the above paragraph. My entire professional and much of my personal life has been built-on and predicated upon having very close control of (and awareness of so I *CAN* control) my emotions. My career would come to a sudden and crashing halt if I developed a reputation as the 'angry, black lesbian'. If I let my emotions out to play in casual company I wouldn't be where I am today and I wouldn't be where I'm headed tomorrow. I know that.

In fact, when I am in a long-term relationship with a white woman (as I am now) one thing I will let her know, fairly early on, is that there is a shell that I wear that is almost always on in public. It's not conscious and has its own momentum at this point. It's so ingrained, in fact...well, let me tell you a short anecdote.

In my first job in the computer industry, back in 1994, I ended up at IGC Networks (PeaceNet, EcoNet, LaborNet, WomensNet). As a non-profit on the side of the angels, I was NOT the only black woman at the organization--although I was the only black woman working in tech. One day Deborah, Tracy and I (the three black women) were sitting in what passed as our lunch room. Deborah was telling us one of her stories and because it was just us there, we all let our language slip into the vernacular. This guy George came into the lunchroom and, in mid-sentence Deborah code-switched and dropped back into very precise diction and grammar. We followed her without missing a beat and still laughed at the joke. George, because he was a very hip, liberal guy who had really done some anti-racism work, recognized what had happened and said something about it, being very apologetic that he had interrupted. Deborah looked at him and said "It's cool, George. We know you're down. But this isn't something we can help, it just happens. There's a voice for when it's just black folks and there's a voice for when white folks come in the room. The only reason any of us work here is because switching between the two is second nature."

I get Obama. He can't afford to have his emotions show for the same reason that Condi Rice can't, or Colin Powell, or Eric Holder or myself--in fact, Oprah is the only black person of that kind of stature who *can* let her emotions out and then, only *certain* emotions. If you want to know how important this is, you need look no further than one Alan Keyes. He says all the right conservative things, he shows up at all the right conservative people, he has disowned his lesbian daughter to burnish his conservative cred but he's too emotional in public. All the difference in the world.

Cheers
Aj

Oh, I get what you are saying, Aj. I just feel sad that anyone has to do so much personal holding back due to race. It happens with ethnicity, too, which I believe robs people of identity. Then, again.... that's racism!

Also, there is just the stereotypes of race and ethnicity around anger and emotional venting, overall and the hierarchy of what is better than.

Oh, yes, I bet you deal with the angry black lesbian stuff all of the time, especially in academia. I remember being very nervous with dissertatation committee members viewing me as having a Latin temperament within their ivory towers. And they simply held power me.