Ask a trans person!

[theoddz]

Originally Posted by June

Congratulations on the BC!

This has come up for me personally out of the numerous conversations around privilege and identifying misogyny and misandry as well as sexism and Transphobia. I realized that I was not seeing some things in the same ways, so I am being introspective and dragging you all along for the ride. It seems like for me, as a Femme that there is inclusivity and we are welcoming, but that's my lens, and clearly there is something going on. I don't know if it's just a "People" thing, how we relate to one another, or if it is something more widespread and deep. Like, if someone posts something ass-hatish, is that systemic, or just an individual not being very highly evolved (Not Transfolk, but all of us).

YES Linus!!! I'm echoing June'y here and want to congratulate you on this milestone!!! Here Here!!!

I finally received my corrected BC from the State of Florida a couple of weeks ago, and I finally feel that it is mine (does that make sense??). I never before felt that my birth certificate was ever really mine before now, but it sure feels that way now. Both the name and gender marker was changed and with less fuss and muss than I had anticipated, given that we're talking about Florida here.

Now, to address June's comments/questions, I, personally, haven't really experienced any real negativity or "rejection", as it were, from the community at large here. I do feel welcomed here, though my filter is probably different from the other guys'. In fact, I feel more welcomed here than I felt at the other site because Jack and Dusa have made it a very strong and outward point that we do have an accepting community here, and we do have a place at this table. From the time this site was opened, that point was made crystal clear.

Now, that said, there are always going to be certain people who are just not going to accept trans folk, no matter what we do, or how hard we try to open their minds. That's okay. Mother taught me at a very young age that "you're not going to always like everyone, and everyone is not always going to like you". I've never thought that you (the generic "you") could legislate or change people's feelings if they didn't want to be changed, and you certainly can't be held responsible for everyone's feelings. Oh, I've witnessed the rows here as certain members have pounded their fists, called out certain obnoxious behaviors and demanded respect, while others just refused to give, and/or became defensive, then turned to attack. I think that's where the "drama spew" that Koop is referring to comes in. Those are the threads I tend to stay out of, unless I just can't help myself and want to drop a comment or two and dash out. Ultimately, I do tend to avoid the hot 'n nasty volatile threads for that reason. Life's too short, yanno, to spend energy trying to "educate" people who, for one reason or another, just won't get it. You can always tell the ones who are trying to understand a concept, versus those who are just trying to be "shit disturbers".

I take people one at a time, based on the individual and the behaviors. I think that, despite some of the nasty mean stuff I've seen, and the "heated" discussions, that this community is a good and welcoming place for me. It's been suggested, by some I hold very dear, that I need to "talk more" here. Thing is, I'm a quirky, strange and extremely introverted fellow and I like to hear/read the opinions of other people. That's how I learn....from listening. I found a great deal of support and encouragement here from other members and they probably don't even realize that they might have posted something here that may have been the only smile I got all day.

There have been things posted, here and there, that have been unkind, phobic or some other class of "ism", but we're all individuals, and you just simply cannot pick up and run with every.single.thing. that offends you, either in real time or online. That's life, and a lot of times, the difference in having a peaceful and respectful coexistence with other people and having a life full of hate, venom and negativity. It really is what you make of it.

Thank you, June'y, for your interest in this, and for all of your hard work to make this site a welcoming and accepting place for all of the plethora of varied personalities. I certainly feel welcomed here.

~Theo~