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Old 08-13-2010, 02:35 AM   #10
imperfect_cupcake
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I've thought about this and thought about the FTQ/FTM that I've dated/screwed around with to see if there was anything unifying about them that may be different than anyone else I've dated.

The only thing that seems to stand out is the ones I've dated/fucked about with were very bender-ish. In that, they were *totally* comfortable in queering their masculinity and coming up with their own masculine gender now that body matched their head a bit more. Thus we could get up to some seriously fun (for me me me and them them them) queering/bender-sex role play.

The butches I tended to date at this time were a little more uncomfortable with that kind of mind gender-fuck. I'm sure tons were able to, I just had no access to any as at the time no one was admitting to any of it, thus I couldn't ask any out. I did discover that once my partners were comfortable with who I was and that they trusted I respected them, they got more willing and curious and able.

I think, at the time and place, the FTQ/M I had access to were just there a bit faster.

That's really the only difference I can think of.

BI (before Inki) in london, I did turn down a couple of straight FtM dates as I didn't really see that jiving. They didn't see themselves as heteroqueer or queer in anyway. So I said no. I don't date straight blokes. TBH, I didn't (and don't) really know very many straight FtMs. Most that I know ID as queer or heteroqueer (and half of those aren't queer in sexuality - they don't have sex with other men of any origin, they just feel their journey aligns them with a queer philosophy and outlook and bendy sex games lol)

but as for why those FtQ/M were attractive? Nothing about them being FtM. They displayed characteristics I find hot in anyone - cheeky, funny, thoughtful, non-rigid, able to take the piss, treat me like a human rather than "a girl", cocky (in the good way: see cheeky) and self confident.

Actually that's not entirely true - there are certain aspects in femmes I find attractive and hot that I don't find attractive in butches or FtQ/Ms. And vice versa. hmn. Have to think about that.
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