The Ethics of Closets and Outings

SuperFemme · 08-31-2010, 07:44 PM

What are your beliefs regarding the ethics of:

1. Living in the closet

A. Do you feel there are ethical concerns with an individual's choice to live in or out of the closet? If so, what are they? Are there exceptions?

I think it's a personal choice. The exception to that is a politician who is in the closet and consistently voting against GLBTQ rights.

B. Are there times when a person has a moral / ethical obligation to live in or out of the closet? If so, what times?

I think that the moral/ethical obligation of a politician is to be honest with their constituents.

2. Outing others

A. Are there times when you think it's ethically okay to out a person? If so, when? Are there exceptions?

Only politicians or anti-gay folks who play toe tapping games in public restrooms and frequent rentboy.com.

B. How careful are you in avoiding accidentally outing a another person?

There has only been one person in my life who has put me in the position of lying about their sexuality. We were together but she insisted on being in the closet, meaning I had to participate in untruths about both myself and her to make this happen. It made me uneasy every second I was doing it. In the end it is what broke us apart.

C. Do you feel there are ethical concerns involved with speculating with others about a person's orientation? If so, what are they?

That depends on the arena. If I am at Home Depot and I say to my honey "Oh, look at the cute butch" no harm no foul. If we are talking about public figures then no, it's not cool for everyone to speculate that say...Ellen Kagan is a big ole dyke cuz she played softball.

D. Do you feel there are ethical concerns about a person asking others to keep her/hir/hym/him in the closet? If so, what are they?

For me, yes. Not to judge the person who is at that place in their journey but that is just not for me. I am out and can't shove myself back in the closet while I wait for a loved one to catch up. This kind of only applies to a person I would be romantically involved with, because that is a situation where we would be all intertwined and living authentically would be impossible.

For the dozen or so kids that we have coming through our house that are queer or questioning and afraid? I would never out them to anyone due to safety reasons. In fact, I'm always very careful when dealing with the parents of these kids.

On a side note? I get kind of squicky with the words moral and ethical used in conjunction with a persons sexuality. It makes me feel like a judgment is being placed on homosexuality that isn't on heterosexuality. Nobody asks heterosexuals if there are moral or ethical concerns on coming out or living as a straight person.

08-31-2010, 07:44 PM	#4
SuperFemme Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Permanently Banned 10/24/2010 Preferred Pronoun?: She. Relationship Status: Married (one of 18,000) Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Atascadero, CA Posts: 4,933 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,309 Thanked 7,108 Times in 2,327 Posts Rep Power: 0	What are your beliefs regarding the ethics of: 1. Living in the closet A. Do you feel there are ethical concerns with an individual's choice to live in or out of the closet? If so, what are they? Are there exceptions? I think it's a personal choice. The exception to that is a politician who is in the closet and consistently voting against GLBTQ rights. B. Are there times when a person has a moral / ethical obligation to live in or out of the closet? If so, what times? I think that the moral/ethical obligation of a politician is to be honest with their constituents. 2. Outing others A. Are there times when you think it's ethically okay to out a person? If so, when? Are there exceptions? Only politicians or anti-gay folks who play toe tapping games in public restrooms and frequent rentboy.com. B. How careful are you in avoiding accidentally outing a another person? There has only been one person in my life who has put me in the position of lying about their sexuality. We were together but she insisted on being in the closet, meaning I had to participate in untruths about both myself and her to make this happen. It made me uneasy every second I was doing it. In the end it is what broke us apart. C. Do you feel there are ethical concerns involved with speculating with others about a person's orientation? If so, what are they? That depends on the arena. If I am at Home Depot and I say to my honey "Oh, look at the cute butch" no harm no foul. If we are talking about public figures then no, it's not cool for everyone to speculate that say...Ellen Kagan is a big ole dyke cuz she played softball. D. Do you feel there are ethical concerns about a person asking others to keep her/hir/hym/him in the closet? If so, what are they? For me, yes. Not to judge the person who is at that place in their journey but that is just not for me. I am out and can't shove myself back in the closet while I wait for a loved one to catch up. This kind of only applies to a person I would be romantically involved with, because that is a situation where we would be all intertwined and living authentically would be impossible. For the dozen or so kids that we have coming through our house that are queer or questioning and afraid? I would never out them to anyone due to safety reasons. In fact, I'm always very careful when dealing with the parents of these kids. On a side note? I get kind of squicky with the words moral and ethical used in conjunction with a persons sexuality. It makes me feel like a judgment is being placed on homosexuality that isn't on heterosexuality. Nobody asks heterosexuals if there are moral or ethical concerns on coming out or living as a straight person.