Are you OUT at work?

[dreadgeek]

Originally Posted by MysticOceansFL

Does it really matter if your out at work , How you perform your job and get along with others isnt based on your lifestyle now is it ?

Yes, it matters. It matters because being 'out' at work can be accomplished with one simple sentence "This weekend my wife and I just puttered about the house..." At that moment, I am out. Even if I just changed the word 'wife' to 'girlfriend' or 'partner' I would STILL be out. Now, I suppose I could just not talk about my personal life at all with my co-workers and pretend to not exist when I'm not here. But why on Earth would I do that? Why SHOULD I have to do that? If I put a picture of my wife on my desk then I've outted myself. If I say "I love you" when I get off the phone with her, I've outted myself the moment I say who I was speaking with. I refuse to pretend that the woman I love with a depth I did not know I was still capable of is my roommate or some casual acquaintance. She is too important to me for me to do that since I do not HAVE to in order to be economically viable.

My heterosexual coworkers are constantly on about what they did with their husband or wives, or what the kids were doing, or the new person they are dating. Haven't they just stated that they are heterosexual by talking about the road trip to the coast they took with their husband? Why should it be that if I were heterosexual and talked about my husband I would NOT be putting something about my 'lifestyle' out there but if I'm talking about my wife I *am* talking about my 'lifestyle'. I reject that construction out of hand because I do not think that the word 'lifestyle' is appropriate when talking about being queer.

My lifestyle is that of an urban, upper middle-class, professional in middle-age. My being a lesbian is not a 'lifestyle' in much the same way that my being a woman or black isn't a 'lifestyle'.

Cheers
Aj