Breaking the Spell: Rethinking queer community

[Greyson]

Aj, I think it takes courage, a willingness to feel uncomfortable and a commitment to take a look at changing ourselves as individuals in our daily actions and thoughts. This is what I believe will move our community forward.

A few years back I realized just how much the "victim mentality" held me back and I had allowed life circumstances to wound me and turn me into an angry, fearful, and stagnated human being. I have judged others and I have learned to forgive.

I have walked through life in different realities. Most of my life I have been perceived as masculine and queer. I have been perceived to be middle-class, working-class and welfare-class. Some see me as a foreigner in my own country and some perceive me to be white. I have been perceived to be educated and to be illiterate. I have been told I speak with a heavy Spanish accent and English is my first and primary language. I have negotiated myself through what sometimes feels like a world of paradox.

I am tired of the "me me" paradigm too. I will start with some of my transgressions. I cannot tell you how many times internally I have dismissed lesbians and white women saying “I don't feel safe. I need my own safe space." I know I have a lot of baggage around this. When I hear this, I hear, "You are masculine, you are a POC and you are wired to hurt people like me; not masculine, privileged and clueless about other cultures." I know this may sound frightening to some but I am being real.

I know I have a ways to go. I am trying. Trust me; many times I am as scared and leery of the ones needing safety as they are of people like me.