Breaking the Spell: Rethinking queer community

[amiyesiam]

Originally Posted by Toughy

Assimilation is not equality. Those of us who live in the burbs, white picket fence, either furry or non-furry kids are accepted (for the most part) ONLY because we look and act like our neighbors. As long as we look and act like our neighbors it's all good in the 'hood. They will even tolerate a suit and tie wearing butch to our faces, but inside that home they still think we are different and will do the 'why don't you get a real man' and 'she would be so pretty if she would just wear a dress and make-up' stuff. I doubt they would be so tolerant if they saw me come out in full leather, packing a big stiffy, with whips and chains attached to my chaps..........it would scare the bejesus out of them and they would clutch their children to their legs. They only tolerate us when we look and act like them on the surface.

And don't ever be fooled into thinking tolerance is a good thing. It's not. The good thing is acceptance. I'm not interested in being tolerated. I am interested in being recognized and accepted because I am a human being.

Tolerance is a false equality. Acceptance is full equality.

Ya know Toughy I fully agree. Looking like you fit in is not the same as being accepted for who one really is.
But...........
reality is that if the straight couple everyone in the neighborhood adores and thinks of as "normal" were seen dressed as you described they would also be talked about, feared and people would question if it was safe to let the kids sleep over.
I guess for me, it is not about being accepted as gay, it is about being accepted as a human.