Breaking the Spell: Rethinking queer community

[princessbelle]

Originally Posted by Slater

Ah true, but the trick is be conscious and mindful and deliberate with our judgements, especially the ones we are going to act upon in some way. A fleeting and random judge-y thought does not always have to be unpacked and examined -- as long as it genuinely is fleeting and random.

For instance, I could think of someone walking down the street, "Holy hell, those are the most ridiculous shoes I've ever seen. Who wears those?" Now I probably wouldn't think that because I scarcely pay attention to what's on my own feet let alone anyone else's (with the notable exception of certain appealing femme footwear selections), but even if I did that's probably a benign, fleeting judgement that I don't need to bother myself with. But if the footwear is markedly favored by a particular demographic group then maybe I do need to examine where that judgement is coming from and what other baggage might be traveling along with it.

So I don't think the goal is to not have any judgements so much as to be careful and responsible and limited with them.

So true.

I also find that it depends on my demeanor at the time. As in...if someone was dissing my beliefs, which i hear quite often, I just step back and try and listen. I take a breath, and calmly respond in print or face to face and remember that everyone has a right to opinions and who am i to judge them for that.

But, if i am in a crabby mood or someone is posting or saying something in a mean spirited way, or seemingly so, my calmness escapes occasionally and judgement can lash out more harshly.

My mood or what is perceived to be intend of the other person has a lot to do with when i judge openly or continue to judge privately or not at all.