What are your three non-negotiables (in a relationship)?

[Deborah]

Originally Posted by Miss_Tia

I am not going to say honesty, good sense of humour, good hygiene, etc because those are givens. If I have to expect them then that means some people expect me not to expect them and frankly, thats a non reality...

so..here are my three

1) no active addiction raging. I dont care if you are addicted to Build A Bears, get it under control, go to a 12 step meeting for it, admit you are powerless over the damn stuffing and then we can talk. I am working on MINE, so I cant afford to let you not be working on yours too if you have an addiction!

2) you have a purpose in life. There has to be some reason you were put on this earth and to wake up every day. And dont say its to love of me. Thats a given if you are in a relationship with me. I want to see motivation, passion, a drive, etc. Maybe its to feed the feral cats in the park. Or to build a bridge so people can have a clean water supply. Or maybe you want to collect comic books. Great! Just dont have nothing.

3) be a genteel gentleman in the truest sense of the archetype. I dont tolerate poor speech. Slouching pants. Offensive language. Ambigious dating practices. If I have to guess if we are out on a date, because you arent opening doors, smiling and looking into my eyes and holding my attention by the cologne you are wearing, as well as the conversation we are having, we arent getting past the date to get into a relationship.

THese work well for me....

1. Addiction can sadly include the computer (BFP , Farmville etc) if you would rather get your strokes from online we got a problem....

2. Motivation and passion has to include some action....dont just tell me you are all about something...if you arent doing something towards it then its just talk to me...

3. I have been in a a relationship where someone would have to guess if the other person was my partner, because they didnt believe in PDA...it's so much nicer when someone sees us together they see the love between us and I am not talking about over the top things that would make one say "get a room"

All the above of course is in addition to the obvious, honesty, fidelity, respect, humor, a job, shared house duties etc....I am happy