Halp! I never developed gaydar and I need...

[imperfect_cupcake]

some help. well. "need". I don't need, but I'm busting to know cause I fancy her. But I have never ever needed gaydar before. But what to do when someone reads like either a very athletic jockular lad-like straight woman, or a very butch flavoured lez that just doesn't ID as anything.

She's my Remedial Massage senior instructor. Bit drill sargent like, cocky, funny, show-off, takes the piss, etc... works with two british olympic teams and has a body of solid wirey muscle and hands that can do unbelievably magic things, holy crap.

I posted it in my blog to field for some advice on gaydar but I want to field here:

Link to my blog clicky. But also posted below

This is a new experience. I have never, in my life, wondered if someone was gay or not. As in, never. This is because the women I like, it's pretty damn obvious they are lezzos. Women I am not interested in, I couldn't care less if they were gay or not.

However, I have been presented with someone who is confusing me because all of the external signals are there, but because she's a long haired sporty type, she could go either way. And I can't tell if she's casually flirting with me or if she's one of those straight girls that is macho and just flirts with everything that moves.


She's chirpy, cocky and friendly, lots of eye contact, takes the piss in class; she's a great massage instructor. She knows I'm a lez. Comes over and sits with me and blabs if I've sat down on my own to look at something. It's nice having someone friendly and interested teaching.

Not that I'd be able to do anything about it, nor do I think she'd be interested if she were, but I still wanna know.

Things that may or may not be gay

- I was trying to set up a table. She came over and said "no no barb, you don't throw the table. Here, look... when it's on it's side, you put your foot here, to brace it, then pull. Like that. That's how I pick up my motorbike..." and then she slowly ginned at me in that cocky way I personally experience butchdykes flirting. I blush. Ugh. Why on earth did I blush over that comment? How embarrassing... but straight girls could grin this way to, no?

- She showed me her arm muscles and flexed them to show me a demonstration of "tonicity" - she is a piece of solid wiry muscle. I had managed to just raise my eyebrows and smile and not break into a sweat.

-When I was on one of the couches, she came over to help my partner with her handwork. She picked up my leg, rested it against her stomach, which was rock hard yet nicely soft... erg... then showed a demonstration of how you can take a calf and sit it "nice and snugly between your bits (breasts) and work it like you are playing a chello. How does that feel, Barb?"
"Um. yeah. nice. very nice. yep" her hands are like fleshy slender hammers covered in velvet. Please put my leg down.

- "One thing I want you all to know. yeah? I don't go on the couch. Never. I don't get done, so don't even suggest" followed by heh heh looking cocky smile. My stomach did a very strange movement. I'm reading into that, can't help it.

-As she was demonstrating on the other instructor... she glanced at her relaxing and she dug her hangs in until the tutor said "UHHGH" in' that pain-pleasure type way and she grinned and said "that's what I like" and laughed in a sadistic, commanding fashion.

- As I was packing up to go, she was walking past me and I looked up from where I was crouched over and she was looking down at me, she then grinned and winked at me. Still, inconclusive. Some people are winkers.

- She was showing me all of her "hyper extending fingers" and her double jointed hips and I was giggling and smiling like a fuckwit and her assistant teacher walked past and said "don't laugh, you'll just encourage her."


Gay? Not Gay? Flirtatious Macho Straight girl? How does one tell these things? None of these things are bona fida dyke behaviour. She reads like a cocky dyke but then again she doesn't. How are you supposed to tell? I've never bothered before to hazard a guess, as I've never been confused before. It doesn't actually matter, she's my instructor, but I want to know.

Tell me your techniques for honing your gaydar cause I don't really have one. Got gaydar? Tell me how! I've tried to pick up 17 year old boys thinking they were dykes and missed dykes that I thought were 17 year old boys... it's faulty.

It there a litmus test?