Poly Relationships

[Ms. Meander]

Originally Posted by Sachita

The word dating is kinda funny for me. It's more of a consideration. IF I think you will fit into my world I'll consider you and give you a chance to prove it. In exchange I'll give you a chance to know me and see if we are the right fit.

The word dating is kind of funny, now that you mention it. Like most things, people have their own definitions. Your post has made me think, more specifically, about what I mean by "dating" and what I expect from it. I expect this is something that will be evolving along with everything else.

At this point it is a term I use to define any romantic or sexual relationship where I am spending time with a person and we have not yet defined our relationship as anything more specific. It is the "getting to know you" period. I guess it is fair to say that one of my relationships has already evolved past dating because even though we have yet to clearly define ourselves we acknowledge our special connection, agree to pursue it, and she has renegotiated the terms of her primary relationship to allow for the possibility of my inclusion as a long-term partner.

At this time it behooves me to remain a largely independent entity. I don't need to be someone's primary partner, I don't want to move in. But I do want meaningful connections. It may suit me to have a more committed and defined relationship, and a lover or two with whom I have a good connection/friendship but we see each other less often and go on occasional dates. I think I might still call the latter, dating. Or maybe we would find another term for it if it becomes long-lasting. Good food for thought.