Being perceived as ditzy, flaky or shallow for being femme

[iridium]

Originally Posted by Star Anise

I do like to dress up and I tend to sit more in the high femme end…

I feel like butch women don’t take me seriously, and treat me like an idiot, or dismiss me as being shallow simply for the fact that I am wearing cosmetics, and feminine clothes and (most importantly for me) having fun with my clothes!

Its important to understand when this dismissal occurs whether percieved or real . If it is before you are engaged in conversation, then perhaps the issue has more to do with signals being broadcast (I am happy.. i am depressed). If you go out alone, you are more likely to look unhappy as your true spirit is not on display. If its after engaging in conversation that the dismissal occurs then nothing you wear (as long as its appropriate) will trump what you say.

Like yourself I too go out in high femme. I sometimes get uncomfortable with the notion that no one else is dressed as such. Perhaps you feel a bit uncomfortable being the only one dressed high femme and this discomfort is being picked up by those you wish to attract. Sometimes I wish there were club nights exclusively designated to butch femme with dress codes so I don't feel self conscious.