What do you do for closure?

[candy_coated_bitch]

Originally Posted by Violette

My boifriend (of a year) broke up with me via email.

We had been struggling for a while and trying to work things through. I had broken up with her a couple of months ago b/c things were just not getting better. When I attempted to break things off, something opened up and we were able to see through muck and it gave us both hope. But the struggling soon came back and I was seriously contemplating whether or not we were well suited for each other. I think she sensed this and did a preemptive break up. Which, would have been fine with me, if she did it in person. I had suggested we make some time to see each other and then I received The Email. I feel so hurt by how she broke up with me. There was no chance at talking things out or breaking up in a loving way (I know that may sound corny, but I believe when you love someone and you realize that it just doesn't work, you can leave things on good terms).

Has anyone else been in this situation? Or any other situation when you didn't feel like you had a chance at closure? How have you come to closure?

Thank you in advanced!
~Violette

I had an ex once who broke up with me over email. We were together over three years and were friends a long time before that. He had asked me for space at one point to deal with his own stuff--and I gave it to him. But I never knew what it was about. Then he emailed me out of the blue and said it was over. No explanation. He refused to talk to me about it at all. I literally never spoke to him again. It was devastating. I had NO way of making sense of it.

I think some really good things have been said already. As far as a situation like this goes--the only way you can find closure is within yourself. I think it's a different evolution than if you had someone else to process it with. But, you CAN process. Journal, vent to friends, write angry letters, do what you have to do. Just take care of yourself. It's an opportunity to be kind to yourself.

The only thing that will bring closure is time. Sometimes just letting go and knowing that helps. It will happen.