"End Game" for butches : )

Parker · 10-17-2013, 05:41 PM

Watching the video and reading Nat's post actually made me open up a dialogue with a close, trusted friend of 10 years about being my medical power of attorney and beneficiary of my will and life insurance.

When I was in WA, it was a good friend of mine, but she is in poor health and 2100 miles away, so I set it up to be my sister. But she doesnt really know me, so would my wishes be respected or would something else be done/decided re: my medical, after death, etc decisions?

So after talking with my friend, I am changing over my medical POA (advanced directive) and insurance beneficiary and will executor information to her. She's a good strong femme woman who wont let my family bully her into doing things she knows I wouldnt want (and she'll get rid of my butch "stuff" if necessary )

Incidentally, I have a copy of my medical POA with my medical record at the VA, but I also keep a copy in a lock box at home as well as a copy in my truck should I get into an accident and end up at a non-VA hospital. I also carry an "ICE" form in my wallet with emergency contact info, info about my dogs so that if I am in a hospital someone knows to check on them, info about my medical POA and its location, etc.

Whether we're healthy or sick, these are all things we probably hate thinking about, but things we need to think about - especially as gay people - and most especially as gay people who may live with their significant other in a state or country that does not have marriage equality yet.

If everything is written down and notarized and you have a medical POA and a will, things *should* be done according to your wishes. Hopefully.

Thanks for bringing it up - I feel much better about the person I have chosen to represent me should I become incapacitated.

10-17-2013, 05:41 PM	#5
Parker Timed Out - Permanent How Do You Identify?: Butch. Lesbian. Dyke. Woman. Female. Preferred Pronoun?: She, of course! Relationship Status: Content Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Small Town Life Posts: 2,880 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 7,858 Thanked 11,727 Times in 2,429 Posts Rep Power: 0	Watching the video and reading Nat's post actually made me open up a dialogue with a close, trusted friend of 10 years about being my medical power of attorney and beneficiary of my will and life insurance. When I was in WA, it was a good friend of mine, but she is in poor health and 2100 miles away, so I set it up to be my sister. But she doesnt really know me, so would my wishes be respected or would something else be done/decided re: my medical, after death, etc decisions? So after talking with my friend, I am changing over my medical POA (advanced directive) and insurance beneficiary and will executor information to her. She's a good strong femme woman who wont let my family bully her into doing things she knows I wouldnt want (and she'll get rid of my butch "stuff" if necessary ) Incidentally, I have a copy of my medical POA with my medical record at the VA, but I also keep a copy in a lock box at home as well as a copy in my truck should I get into an accident and end up at a non-VA hospital. I also carry an "ICE" form in my wallet with emergency contact info, info about my dogs so that if I am in a hospital someone knows to check on them, info about my medical POA and its location, etc. Whether we're healthy or sick, these are all things we probably hate thinking about, but things we need to think about - especially as gay people - and most especially as gay people who may live with their significant other in a state or country that does not have marriage equality yet. If everything is written down and notarized and you have a medical POA and a will, things should be done according to your wishes. Hopefully. Thanks for bringing it up - I feel much better about the person I have chosen to represent me should I become incapacitated.