Caregivers and Stress

EmJay · 06-11-2015, 02:36 PM

I don't like the term "caregiver" when it comes to me and my dad. So I prefer to just say were hanging out. We've been hanging out for 4.5 years now. He has ALS and for the last 2-3 years he's been fully paralyzed and requires 24/7 "hangouts." I spend days with him while my moms at work and she spends nights. It's never a guarantee when my mom will be home as she is a manager of a bank so some nights she doesn't get home till late. His breathing isn't great or even really good so we always make sure 1 of us is with him, it's too scary to leave someone else who doesn't know the breathing/eating routines he has. All of this kinda makes it so I am not really capable of being in a relationship. Most plans I make get cancelled because I am needed here when my mom may work late or simply because I'm exhausted at the end of the day. I don't have a whole lot to offer anyone because he is my number 1 priority and will be for the rest of his life. And when I think of dating later I can't help but think I will be so broken when he's gone that I will be so much more than a hot mess. Similar to dead inside maybe? My thoughts right now are.. If I'm lonely right now... What is it going to be like when he's gone. That scares me.

06-11-2015, 02:36 PM	#11
EmJay Member How Do You Identify?: femme Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: Canada Posts: 124 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 338 Thanked 447 Times in 96 Posts Rep Power: 3970856	I don't like the term "caregiver" when it comes to me and my dad. So I prefer to just say were hanging out. We've been hanging out for 4.5 years now. He has ALS and for the last 2-3 years he's been fully paralyzed and requires 24/7 "hangouts." I spend days with him while my moms at work and she spends nights. It's never a guarantee when my mom will be home as she is a manager of a bank so some nights she doesn't get home till late. His breathing isn't great or even really good so we always make sure 1 of us is with him, it's too scary to leave someone else who doesn't know the breathing/eating routines he has. All of this kinda makes it so I am not really capable of being in a relationship. Most plans I make get cancelled because I am needed here when my mom may work late or simply because I'm exhausted at the end of the day. I don't have a whole lot to offer anyone because he is my number 1 priority and will be for the rest of his life. And when I think of dating later I can't help but think I will be so broken when he's gone that I will be so much more than a hot mess. Similar to dead inside maybe? My thoughts right now are.. If I'm lonely right now... What is it going to be like when he's gone. That scares me.