PTSD and Trauma recovery

[friskyfemme]

Originally Posted by Andrew, Jr.

This afternoon I received a phone call from my bio-mother. I am just shocked, horrified, and all the other words you can lump in there. For the most part I tend to ignore my bio-parents at all costs. I talk to them briefly, and see them maybe once a year (if at all). They have ignored me, and now that they are elderly...it seems that they are needy of me. No. I just cannot do that. It is like for years and years they made a point of it to ignore my birthday, holidays, and everything else going on in my life. And now that they realize that they are knocking the door to the other side - it just dawned on them that they need to fix the damage that they have caused. I say no to that, and walk away. I am just way too bitter.

Yes, I am a forgiving man. I am very forgiving. In fact, I can and have turned the cheek to help them out, drive them to doctor appointments, the grocery store, shopping, and so on. However when they cross the line of belittling me, Rosie, my healthcare issues, and insulting everything about me, no. I have to just draw the line and say no. It's abuse, and I am stopping it dead in it's tracks. That is just nuts. No doubt about it. All I can do is pray for them.

No matter what I do or say, nothing changes with my parents and their behavior. They need to get a grip on life and living honestly. I am so disappointed and let down by them.

Andrew,
You and I have a similiar situation. As I have said, I grew up with an abusive, narsicistic, authoritarian, alcoholic dad. In his entire lifetime I avoided him and never forgave him. It was the only empowerment I had with him until he died.

Somethings we heal from; others we shield ourselves from to survive. Do that which is better for you.