Pillow Princess

[AishasWrath]

Originally Posted by Gemme

Wow. What a backhanded compliment.

Awesome.

That was not meant as a backhanded compliment at all. I would not do that. I'm sorry it sounded that way.

Edited to add: I meant everything I said, I do think these are attractive qualities! Maybe it's weird to people but I don't see the traits of the negative stereotype as a bad thing. The best experiences I've ever had were with people who layed there and relaxed and didn't get very handsy.

[Angeltoes]

Originally Posted by AishasWrath

That was not meant as a backhanded compliment at all. I would not do that. I'm sorry it sounded that way.

Why do you want a femme to be so passive? What are you afraid of?

[AishasWrath]

Originally Posted by Angeltoes

Why do you want a femme to be so passive? What are you afraid of?

*sigh* My turn to be offended now. I'm not afraid of people, I just don't like nonpassive partners. Do I need to through all the justifications and disclaimers again about how I don't like being touched, how it's overwhelming and uncomfortable when others are too active, and give five notarized affidavits of the times I tried to "stop being afraid" and found out it wasn't about fear it was about physical discomfort when I placed myself in such situations?

Going back on topic, there are people out there who are very passive in bed, and there's nothing wrong with them. I'm not the only person who thinks it's beautiful and desirable and ideal to be very languid.

[Angeltoes]

You're the one who said it feels 'nonthreatening' when a femme is passive and still. That indicates to me that you're scared. And, maybe you should work out what it is you're afraid of but that would be disturbing to me. Not sexy at all.

Anyway, you're new and your name is 'Aisha's revenge' which makes me wonder about your intentions here.

[Angeltoes]

I would never violate anyone. I would leave.

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by *Anya*

Almost sounds like necrophilla...

I am sure you don't want a lover to be "lying around, not being at all active" for real?

The "lazier and passive-er" the better!?

Edited to add: this is not my understanding of a stone femme or a pillow princess at all. I have been schooled and educated in these forums and have so appreciated the knowledge I have gained.

I don't recall anyone saying before that they did zero activity and just laid down, not to actively participate in whatever way was right for them.

Your understanding is correct.

Originally Posted by AishasWrath

That was not meant as a backhanded compliment at all. I would not do that. I'm sorry it sounded that way.

Edited to add: I meant everything I said, I do think these are attractive qualities! Maybe it's weird to people but I don't see the traits of the negative stereotype as a bad thing. The best experiences I've ever had were with people who layed there and relaxed and didn't get very handsy.

I'm okay with passive, although that's incorrect for me personally. It's the part where you called a whole group 'lazy'. Pillow princesses aren't lazy. That is offensive.

I see you're new here so I'll let you in on something. Blanket statements as a general rule are offensive. so it's best to be as specific about the things you have strong opinions about.

Originally Posted by AishasWrath

*sigh* My turn to be offended now. I'm not afraid of people, I just don't like nonpassive partners. Do I need to through all the justifications and disclaimers again about how I don't like being touched, how it's overwhelming and uncomfortable when others are too active, and give five notarized affidavits of the times I tried to "stop being afraid" and found out it wasn't about fear it was about physical discomfort when I placed myself in such situations?

Going back on topic, there are people out there who are very passive in bed, and there's nothing wrong with them. I'm not the only person who thinks it's beautiful and desirable and ideal to be very languid.

I get where you are coming from. Stones have a hard road sometimes, and you may certainly have come across some women that are fine with being called passive and lazy, but I can venture to say that most of us here aren't okay with it.

No one is saying you can't have boundaries. Boundaries are healthy. It's not an issue for me that you don't want anyone too 'handsy' as you said. We all have 'no go' zones on our bodies for a thousand different reasons. Just please try not to generalize a whole group of women; especially when so many princesses have been fighting the very stereotypes that you have played in to and called us.

I didn't jump on the necrophilia train and I think that condition was brought up prematurely in the discussion. I don't want to stomp all over you and your personal boundaries. I do want to make you understand that you just offended a whole division of our community and that is going to piss some people off.

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by Angeltoes

I look very nonthreatening in person. If a butch wanted to be scared of me for no logical reason, then I would probably laugh and scare them on purpose. I would not lay still and sexy time would definitely be over.

You're missing the point. I'm not sure if you are Stone or not, but that could explain why you see things the way you do. AW, while doing it clumsily, was expressing their relief that pillow princesses don't violate their personal boundaries. They just chose a seriously poor way to communicate that appreciation.

Stone butches and femmes have historically had a difficult time with partners, especially if they try to partner with a non-Stone.

Originally Posted by Angeltoes

You're the one who said it feels 'nonthreatening' when a femme is passive and still. That indicates to me that you're scared. And, maybe you should work out what it is you're afraid of but that would be disturbing to me. Not sexy at all.

Anyway, you're new and your name is 'Aisha's revenge' which makes me wonder about your intentions here.

Wrath, not revenge.

Originally Posted by Angeltoes

I would never violate anyone. I would leave.

This is certainly healthy and I hope that all of us would be sensitive to violating another's boundaries.