Femme Led Relationships and Trans/Butch/Femme Bottoms

[Sachita]

Originally Posted by MidnightBlueEyes

I can totally relate to this subject... I am a Switch. I began my relationship with my Daddy as his babygirl.. We evolved into a D/s D/g relationship.

My Daddy is an FTM and is also a Switch. We both have a dominant and a submissive side. He is predominantly my Daddy/Sir, I am his babygirl/submissive. But I am also Mistress to his submissive boy side.

I have had to watch my lesbian friends look of disgust when I explain why I call my partner "he". Add to that trying to explain D/s roles I very rarely will explain I also have a submissive boy... I refuse to subject him to anyone who will put him down or make him feel bad. Of course I also live in the bible belt.

If my friends judge my relationship ANY PART of my relationship I let them fade into my past as I don't have time for people like that. My boy is very special to me and I will protect him with my life... Just as Daddy protects his babygirl with his life. My two best (straight) friends know about my submissive boy and I know they will always be respectful toward my relationship.

I have not discussed this openly much because being a Switch is often looked up negatively as well.

I really am happy to see the positiveness this community is showing on Butch Femme Planet. I am pleased that Daddy and I have joined this site... And I am very glad you started this thread weatherboi.. I am so glad you felt secure enough to discuss how you feel and how others have made you feel when they are disrespectful to your Ms.

I look forward to reading further comments on this subject.

Becca

I think this is so cool and so sexually/spiritually evolved. Understanding the aspects of yourself, defining them, giving them complete identities and compartments within yourself. Then finding one who loves you, trust, etc that supports allowing that "person" to emerge, play/explore and realize its just one aspect of you.

I think for me I need one who is naturally submissive most of the time, however I am also ok with hym/her developing other aspects when the need arrives.

[Andrew, Jr.]

Weatherboi,

First of all this is a great thread! Good for you. You are brave for posting this. My hat is off to you.

Secondly, do not let anyone belittle you at all. Sheesh.

If they do, you just say it to me, and I will straighten them right out. Another jackass as I see it. You hold your head high.

Lastly, whomever is your partner/spouse go have fun! Go live life! It is so short. So have fun no matter what!

[weatherboi]

Thanks Andrew for your input. Now I will give some to you.

Originally Posted by Andrew, Jr.

Weatherboi,

First of all this is a great thread! Good for you. You are brave for posting this. My hat is off to you.

Secondly, do not let anyone belittle you at all. Sheesh.

i don't let people belittle me, not even if i find it coming in a passive aggressive manner.

If they do, you just say it to me, and I will straighten them right out. Another jackass as I see it. You hold your head high.

thanks but i have been fighting my own battles for 40 years and will continue to do so on my own with my head always held high. self reflection has worked wonders for me and i will now advise the same you Andrew...self reflection!

Lastly, whomever is your partner/spouse go have fun! Go live life! It is so short. So have fun no matter what!

Andrew it is very disconcerning to me to read this...i know you know i am with Snow...i find it dismissive to my Ms/Domme/Femme, and myself that you would come up in here with this post. I am not quite sure what has been done to you to behave this way but i feel we need to take it to the red zone



Andrew i am owned and loved by The_Lady_Snow and honestly my days and nights are longer are longer now. Laughter is always present.

[Rope]

Bottoms run the fuck? I believe bottoms run the fuck in s/m scenes where it's all about them and all about sensation---they pull out the "No" that shuts a scene down. Or they safeword because it's too much, too intense, too owie, too whatever.

These are scenes about the bottoms sensation and pleasure of masochism NOT about an energy exchange based on a giving over, and submitting, or a willingness to serve.

M/s and D/s relationship do involve negotiations to BUILD TRUST--then yes, it is all about the Top (or me). I view a new slave or subs safeword as a guide for me to know where their tolerance is or the things that get them "there" faster, but I don't think, oh I should never use that or never go "there". I go where I want to go, and I know a sub or slave wants me to do that too. A slave or subs "safeword" is more of a way to inform and not necessarily stop their Master/Mistress or Dominant. These kinds of s/m and play relationships are based on relating--not solely sensation play.

So many put my M/s relationships down--you don't really RUN THE FUCK, your slave could stop that at any time, well, you're still in a butch/femme relationship, we know who really runs the show----shut the fuck up, you don't really know what the dynamic is especially when you don't LIVE IT but rather read about it and philosphize about it, and can't even stay awake in a workshop about it.

And as to all this--femme Top with butch bottom, or butch Top playing w/ butch bois or butch on femme, or butch Top with femme bottom.....geeesus, there's room for all. Put downs, leave 'em at the door. Just cuz it ain't your kink, leave it alone. We get put down enough by society at large, why can't we let our own live and let live?

People too stupid to see the power of a great slave, sub, girl/boi--to hell with them. I want power house slaves and subs in my life--butch or femme.

Rope--

p.s. weatherboi---you sooooooooo know you're welcome in my home anytime and I won't embarass you here raving about your great service. But it's the little touches---to turn a wine bottle <g>. your service is a tribute to your Ma'am.

[Sachita]

Originally Posted by Rope

Bottoms run the fuck? I believe bottoms run the fuck in s/m scenes where it's all about them and all about sensation---they pull out the "No" that shuts a scene down. Or they safeword because it's too much, too intense, too owie, too whatever.

These are scenes about the bottoms sensation and pleasure of masochism NOT about an energy exchange based on a giving over, and submitting, or a willingness to serve.

M/s and D/s relationship do involve negotiations to BUILD TRUST--then yes, it is all about the Top (or me). I view a new slave or subs safeword as a guide for me to know where their tolerance is or the things that get them "there" faster, but I don't think, oh I should never use that or never go "there". I go where I want to go, and I know a sub or slave wants me to do that too. A slave or subs "safeword" is more of a way to inform and not necessarily stop their Master/Mistress or Dominant. These kinds of s/m and play relationships are based on relating--not solely sensation play.

So many put my M/s relationships down--you don't really RUN THE FUCK, your slave could stop that at any time, well, you're still in a butch/femme relationship, we know who really runs the show----shut the fuck up, you don't really know what the dynamic is especially when you don't LIVE IT but rather read about it and philosphize about it, and can't even stay awake in a workshop about it.

And as to all this--femme Top with butch bottom, or butch Top playing w/ butch bois or butch on femme, or butch Top with femme bottom.....geeesus, there's room for all. Put downs, leave 'em at the door. Just cuz it ain't your kink, leave it alone. We get put down enough by society at large, why can't we let our own live and let live?

People too stupid to see the power of a great slave, sub, girl/boi--to hell with them. I want power house slaves and subs in my life--butch or femme.

Rope--

p.s. weatherboi---you sooooooooo know you're welcome in my home anytime and I won't embarass you here raving about your great service. But it's the little touches---to turn a wine bottle <g>. your service is a tribute to your Ma'am.

Thank you so much for this reply. I use safe words, as you said to understand tolerance but the moment it's use as an act of control I point to the door.

[weatherboi]

*on my knees head down*

Sir Rope-
Your words ring true to my leather heart and feelings. i thank You for taking Your time and Your knowledge to address this thread.

Originally Posted by Rope

Bottoms run the fuck? I believe bottoms run the fuck in s/m scenes where it's all about them and all about sensation---they pull out the "No" that shuts a scene down. Or they safeword because it's too much, too intense, too owie, too whatever.

Sir i really acknowledge what You say here and understand Your point. Since i have not been Privy to this particualar situation, i am wondering if, for me only, even then my Ms still runs the fuck because i realize i am her property and know she is gonna be the negotiator of the scene and she is gonna be privy to ending it as well. make sense Sir?

These are scenes about the bottoms sensation and pleasure of masochism NOT about an energy exchange based on a giving over, and submitting, or a willingness to serve.

i totally understand and agree with You Sir!

M/s and D/s relationship do involve negotiations to BUILD TRUST--then yes, it is all about the Top (or me). I view a new slave or subs safeword as a guide for me to know where their tolerance is or the things that get them "there" faster, but I don't think, oh I should never use that or never go "there". I go where I want to go, and I know a sub or slave wants me to do that too. A slave or subs "safeword" is more of a way to inform and not necessarily stop their Master/Mistress or Dominant. These kinds of s/m and play relationships are based on relating--not solely sensation play.

Sir this really describes my understanding of my relationship with my Ms. This is how i understand who runs the fuck in my relationship.

So many put my M/s relationships down--you don't really RUN THE FUCK, your slave could stop that at any time, well, you're still in a butch/femme relationship, we know who really runs the show----shut the fuck up, you don't really know what the dynamic is especially when you don't LIVE IT but rather read about it and philosphize about it, and can't even stay awake in a workshop about it.
yes Sir


And as to all this--femme Top with butch bottom, or butch Top playing w/ butch bois or butch on femme, or butch Top with femme bottom.....geeesus, there's room for all. Put downs, leave 'em at the door. Just cuz it ain't your kink, leave it alone. We get put down enough by society at large, why can't we let our own live and let live?


People too stupid to see the power of a great slave, sub, girl/boi--to hell with them. I want power house slaves and subs in my life--butch or femme.

Sir once again Your thoughts describe my understanding of my Ms and her desires for my service and for me. i humbly realize that it is up to me to be the best slave for my Ms and the best leatherboy for my Ms and Our community.

Rope--

p.s. weatherboi---you sooooooooo know you're welcome in my home anytime and I won't embarass you here raving about your great service. But it's the little touches---to turn a wine bottle <g>. your service is a tribute to your Ma'am.

*lump in throat*
Sir-
it was my priviledge and honor to be invited to Your home
Your words are carved into my leather soul and will help me see clear, so that i may always strive to give better service to my Ms and anybody else she has me serve.

[DamonK]

Respectfully, I entirely agree with Isadora's post, particularly the part about the intimacy of Momma/boi or Mommy/boy or whatever you wish to call that dynamic.

I've been known to drop deeper into subspace. Typically, as J, I'm around 18 years old. That's my age range in that headspace. However, if I drop lower, I'm around 6. That's when Mommy/boy enters. For us, meaning MBE and myself, Mommy/boy isn't sexual. It isn't age play really. It's simply a boy so deep in subspace he needs to be watched over, protected. And Mommy does that. I suppose it could be considered similar to the playfulness of D/g. In that deep of a headspace, Mommy is a safe place to go, a place where love is unconditional, basic needs are secured, a place to feel safe from the rest of the world with Monkey.

Yes, I have a stuffed Monkey named George. And yes, he's Curious George.

However, I call him Monkey.

I wouldn't change this aspect either. As MBE has a babygirl side and a submissive side, I have a babyboy side and a submissive side.

J

[WingsOnFire]

Originally Posted by Sachita

I think this is so cool and so sexually/spiritually evolved. Understanding the aspects of yourself, defining them, giving them complete identities and compartments within yourself. Then finding one who loves you, trust, etc that supports allowing that "person" to emerge, play/explore and realize its just one aspect of you.

I think for me I need one who is naturally submissive most of the time, however I am also ok with hym/her developing other aspects when the need arrives.

{{{{Sachita}}}} Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts, your emotions, your desires. You definitely do not need to settle for less than what you need and desire. It will not make you happy.

It is so interesting that in our relationship I fit the role of the submissive you describe... yet I feel COMPLETELY in control when I am Mistress. It is wonderful that you are able and willing to allow your submissive to develop other aspects of themselves should they desire to do so... That is exactly how my Daddy became my Daddy and now my Sir...

To suppress a persons needs and desires to mold to your own needs and desires is to stifle that persons emotional growth. I know first hand the beauty of allowing a person to be exactly who they are. I am glad you have stood up for yourself and not settled for less than who you are.

Becca