Differently Abled (fly your freak flag high)

[SuperFemme]

I love the sunrise here coming up over the hills of grapes. It's not the ocean, but it sure is a different kind of beautiful....

Watching plants grow is also amazing. Weird, huh?
But to put something in the earth, nurture it, and then cook it or just admire it? It's a reminder of how much there is to be grateful for.

[Soft*Silver]

I dont think I have posted in this thread on this site. I have several health issues that limit my abilities, which have also caused me to become a creative thinker. I dont like limits but have grown to acknowledge I have them, and so I work on figuring out ways to do the things I love. Like gardening. I am now putting together an extensive vertical garden so I have very little kneeling work to do.

I would like to share with you what happened to me this weekend at my daughter's college graduation. The first four levels of seats where reserved for people with disabilities. So entire families were saving seats and that meant that the reserved seats were "reserved" fairly quickly and people with true handicaps could not get seats. One lady had five seats saved...when I asked her if they were saved she said yes...I then asked her if everyone was disabled who was going to be sitting there and she snapped at me and said "are you?" My eyes got huge. I had to hold myself back so I didnt go overboard but yes, my volume increased and I informed her I was indeed disabled and if she walked in my shoes she would know. Later, her family showed up. She had one of her parents sitting with them, who was obviously disabled. But she and her husband and her two big strong strapping high school boys were not. This family was just one of many many people who took advantage of handicap seating. I watched as people with tremors, people who used canes and walkers, mothers with CP children, elderly who could in no way climb steps (bleacher seating) and folks with oyxgen all look desperately for seating and found none. If I could have stood for the ceremony I would have given them my seat. I have never witnessed a more pathetic example of how Americans have lost their sense or morality. Morality isnt about who is sleeping with who, or who is sending stock tips to who, or gay vs hetero marraige. The real morality issue is how uncaring so many of our people have become. The etiquette we once shared as a means of being courteous to each other has disappeared. People would like to say only the youth are that way. I use to say that. But not anymore. I now have witnessed where the youth have learned it from. I am writing a letter to the editor of our area newspaper to let them know how far down the courtesy scale we as a nation have gone...

[Andrew, Jr.]

When people see me in real time, they can see my limitations and my disabilities. It is right there in there face. Online I feel my disabilities are hidden. What word or words do I need to say to get this across to them?

[WheelieStrong]

Originally Posted by Andrew, Jr.

When people see me in real time, they can see my limitations and my disabilities. It is right there in there face. Online I feel my disabilities are hidden. What word or words do I need to say to get this across to them?

hi, sorry if i am asking a dim question but do you feel that the fact that being online hides your disabilities and limitations, and see this as a good thing?
Or do you find this somehow hinders your comunicatios or self expression somehow?

i hope this makes sense, i've been spending a hell of a lot of time in Second Life which is actually where i found out about the planet..

i originally got a wheelchair for my avatar because i actually felt weird walking around, i do not walk around in RL and i know in SL avatars can fly, but my need for a chair is much more about my identity as a person than my ability within the world.

i am trying to spend more and more time without a chair and i will get up and dance with certain VERY cute people, but i just don't feel comfortable without it..

I guess it's similar to the fact that in Second life i haven't been able to find a realistic looking fat guy, especially a furry one *grin* and people tell me there i don't have to be like my real me.
But i feel being a skinny tall dark skinned dark haired, dark eyed athletic able boddied guy is a complete misrepresentation of myself.

i also feel when trying to socialise in spaces aimed at disabled/limited/differently abled/challenged/handicapable (lol south park) people, that i am expected to wear my disability as a badge of pride and if i am not using something that shows me to be part of the comunity i'm somehow being disloyal..

Does any of that make sense?

[Andrew, Jr.]

Wheelie,

I avoid Second Life.

I am not good with words or communication.

[WheelieStrong]

Originally Posted by Andrew, Jr.

Wheelie,

I avoid Second Life.

I am not good with words or communication.

i started using second life again exactly because of that issue, i have no social outlet at all, most weeks i only see my ex, who lives with me and provides care, it all gets a bit too much for me

i don't cope in social situations, i've never cried so much with loneliness and frustration as i have in the weeks since i went back to trying to be social online.. but i can't go back to being on my own in the real world and nothing else.

My ex may live here but unless i need help, and/or she wants to shout at me, we dont spend any time in the same room.

[Andrew, Jr.]

Wheelie,

I am home too 24/7/365 unless I am at Church, or the doctors office or having labs run.

I was used to mailing out prayer cards for those who were hurting or sick, or who's parents were grieving. I also was used to sending reading material from the Church to those who asked for it all out of my own pocket. The Church never paid for that. I did. But it was my joy to do so.

Yep, I know about social isolation. That is the main reason I come online. That is why I hang onto my pets, and my outdoor activities like bird watching and feeding Hank and Honey. People may laugh at me, but they give me so much love and joy. I cry a lot too. I so know that feeling.

Anyway, sorry for my long rant.

Andrew

[SuperFemme]

Originally Posted by WheelieStrong

i started using second life again exactly because of that issue, i have no social outlet at all, most weeks i only see my ex, who lives with me and provides care, it all gets a bit too much for me

i don't cope in social situations, i've never cried so much with loneliness and frustration as i have in the weeks since i went back to trying to be social online.. but i can't go back to being on my own in the real world and nothing else.

My ex may live here but unless i need help, and/or she wants to shout at me, we dont spend any time in the same room.

What do you think is frustrating you so much Wheelie? You so far have been articulate and easy to talk to. Honest.

I have NO idea what Second Life is, but assume it is something along the lines of WOW? You get to be a character?

My best advice to you is to keep on coming back and reading, posting, etc...socialize on small step at a time. I am ill and this is a big portion of my social network, being ill can be isolating. I don't know what I'd do without my community!

Please don't disappear because I hate to think of you over there with nobody to talk to other than somebody yelling at you. Ack! Private message me if you ever need to just talk.