TMI - Too Much Information

[Gemme]

*raises hand*

I'm another backer upper onto something-er. A yellowish-orange cement pole. Tiny dark gray Mercury Tracer. Husband screaming at me (well, this was before, during and after the bumping actually and one of the contributing factors of our divorce).

Eh. *shrug*

I'm on the rag today, so that's about all I have to offer unless someone feels compelled to compare cramps or flow or something.

[Mister Bent]

The one time I got drunk, ever, I had to take a cab to the ferry to take me back to the island where I lived.

I hailed a cab and maybe threw up a little (discreetly) on the floor.

I might also have asked him to wait outside the ferry terminal while I went to the ATM and returned (never) with cash.

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by Mister Bent

The one time I got drunk, ever, I had to take a cab to the ferry to take me back to the island where I lived.

I hailed a cab and maybe threw up a little (discreetly) on the floor.

I might also have asked him to wait outside the ferry terminal while I went to the ATM and returned (never) with cash.

That sounds like a quarter of the fares leaving Seattle.

[Thinker]

Originally Posted by Medusa

Many of you have already heard this but I totally pooped in a potted plant on the balcony of a VERY fancy hotel one time.

And then I wiped with a leaf that I ended up being allergic to.

Ummm... Not that it *really* matters......but......were you drunk???

Originally Posted by Tucker

In kindergarten the toilet was broken and we had to shake the handle so it wouldnt flood. My ADD was so bad I forgot about it. I pooped and flooded the classroom.
The next day I was told I had to go to private school because the teacher was so upset about her poop room.

That's so fucked up.

Originally Posted by betenoire

I love you.

When I moved to Vancouver I had to live in my car temporarily while I looked for a job an an apartment. My car was parked in a parkinglot by Jericho Beach. There were actually several cars and vans in that parkinglot full of people doing what I was doing.

Anyway. I was lucky in that most of my bowel-urges happened when I had handy access to the public toilet. Each time but once, in fact. So it's 2am and I have to crap...so I wander into the woods and hug a tree and do what I have to do. Then I wipe with my sock (!!! I forgot to bring tp to the woods, okay?) and tossed my sock aside and went back to the car.

Later that morning I was woken up by some loud hollering and swearing out in the woods. It seems one of the other people who were also car-living....um....stepped in my shit. Barefooted.

I prayed and prayed that he wouldn't recognise my sock.

Lesson: Don't walk in the woods in bare feet.

Originally Posted by WolfyOne

When I was a teenager my mom got tired of me falling off my bed when I'd come home drunk....thought I'd hurt myself, so she took away my bed frame and told me I wouldn't have as far to fall next time.

Wow. Cool mom!


My share: When I was in high school, I went to New Orleans to visit friends and ring in the new year. I was introduced to (a lot of) Jagermeister.

The next morning I was jolted awake by the need to throw up. After approaching a LOCKED bathroom door, I took a hooded sweatshirt out of my suitcase and threw up in it. Covered the puke with the hood, folded it up, and packed it away.

And went back to sleep.

I don't think I ever knew who was in that fuckin' bathroom.

[Medusa]

Originally Posted by Thinker

Ummm... Not that it *really* matters......but......were you drunk???




That's so fucked up.




Lesson: Don't walk in the woods in bare feet.




Wow. Cool mom!


My share: When I was in high school, I went to New Orleans to visit friends and ring in the new year. I was introduced to (a lot of) Jagermeister.

The next morning I was jolted awake by the need to throw up. After approaching a LOCKED bathroom door, I took a hooded sweatshirt out of my suitcase and threw up in it. Covered the puke with the hood, folded it up, and packed it away.

And went back to sleep.

I don't think I ever knew who was in that fuckin' bathroom.

THINKER! I'm actually impressed by the ingenuity of that! HAHA!

[SuperFemme]

I have a reputation of disconnecting my own IV lines and leaving the hospital.
so much so that they take my keys.

I once brought an extra key and called Cal in a panic, sure the doctors were following me home.

Now that I have Snow in my life? I don't do that anymore. She's smarter than me.

[JustJo]

Since this seems to be the place for pee stories.....

My mother has an old farm way out in the country...and was away somewhere for a week. I had promised to take my son and go water her plants, harvest the garden, and generally check on things while she was away.

It's a long drive, and I was dying to pee when I got there. Grabbed the spare key from it's hiding place and.....it doesn't work. Evidently mom changed the lock when she got the new door, and forgot to change out the hidden key.

No problem...I know how to break into her house (an entirely different story ), but I really had to pee and couldn't wait.

Ran around the back of the house...no one can see me there cuz it's way out in the country. Pants down, squat, pee.......right on a snake. Not sure who was more panicked....snake fled, I jumped, and pee'd all over my shoes.

My son laughed so hard he pee'd his pants.

The car didn't smell very good on the way home.

[Thinker]

Originally Posted by Medusa

THINKER! I'm actually impressed by the ingenuity of that! HAHA!

Y'all just *think* I'm straightlaced. I got yer asses fooled.

[Rook]

The first night my Iguana was home {he was young, but big}, the Novelty of his exotic self wore off really fast around bedtime...
We're gettin cozy & frisky, she stops and asks if the bathroom was closed [where I made Zul's bed, tiles and such], I figured I did...She turned the lamp on, and swiped the covers, there's Zul...licking his nose...So, yes, she screams, I try to shut her up, and he races off..I mean, faster than a bullet, his lethal weapon tail smacks me on my nose, and I fall off the bed..my hand lands on something Squishie-Slimy and kinda Ripe....
I peeked, and instant gagging..
Ever seen Iguana shit?....think of pigeon/chicken/Goose shit...but...much much bigger...
All she could say was "eeew -giggle-"....

==============

As told by my uncle during family gatherings, my father was resting after a rough day, and he was feeding me chocolate...Mum was at work, I was 3...I gave him a gift after squeaky laughing and saying "candy!!", right when he was gonna bite, he sniffed...and realized it was a chunk of poop..
He wasnt a happy camper, both my uncle and mum told him "thats what u get for feeding her raisonettes"

==============

I was dating a rather lovely lady, we had some good times, nice walks, good chemistry, on the 3rd date, she says she had a surprise for me...
We get to her place, she sits me on her bed, tells me to close my eyes..
I figure sure why not?..I'm expecting Victoria's Secret here...She tells me to open my eyes, I peek, while she's grinning ear to ear {and modelling playfully}, I'm staring in disbelief, almost slackjaw..
Nothing against Strapping femmes, but..
That's not my thing...
'specially not shiny glittery neon pink dicks...
I had to leave, asap...