How do you know someone is..

[Chancie]

Originally Posted by Linus, who likes a nice cigar

Basic gaydar.

Ah, I thought you meant based on looks alone.

For me, gaydar goes beyond superficial appearance.

[scootebaby]

my gaydar quit working yrs ago...not that it ever really worked tho

being from Ky i learned NOT to judge by looks....in small town Ky a lot of the women look butch...so instead try to make eye contact...and this is ONLY my opinion and MY experience...if i try to make eye contact with someone i suspect may be butch and they try NOT to make eye contact i assume butch...with the femme women IF they make eye contact then i assume gay....dunno why but over time it seems to be a proven technique--for me anyway! *shrugs*

[Apocalipstic]

I usually am not paying attention, but if I am I try not to make assumptions, though sometimes I do.

Years ago I was driving through Atlanta and saw two women walking down the street. I assumed were Lesbians and said so, my sister gave me all kinds of crap for assuming...but I have never met any straight women who would wear black leather chaps and harnesses and have flat tops out and about at 10am on a Sunday MORNING.

It had to be left over from Saturday night. Right?

[foxyshaman]

OOHHHH I love playing 'spot the not'. I have good gaydar for men... I did not know that until I found out my husband (well ex by that time) was gay <go figure>... so I guess I honed it somehow as a young woman.

I have a hard time sensing femme energy for whatever reason. But I have a good sense for some women. I, however, seem totally invisible... but hey then I get to play 'stealth lesbian'... which I quite enjoy

[Martina]

i never trust my gaydar. It's often right, but i don't trust it. i just wait to find out. If a woman sits down next to another woman and they start making out, well then i might assume they're gay. Until then, nope. i have been wrong SO MANY times.

Six or so months ago i as in a 12-step meeting. It was a regular meeting, not lgbtq. Anyway, it turned out everyone there but one person was gay. But there were two women there -- one who i would have sworn was a dyke, the other who i would have sworn was not. Guess what, the dykey looking one is straight, and the straight looking one is a dyke. Gotta love Berkeley.

[suebee]

I used to think I knew, much more-so than now. It was clearer when I lived in a city. But then again it sometimes varied according to the neighbourhood. Now that I live in a rural area I'm not so sure anymore. Many women I would have thought to be butch if I were in the city aren't at all. And married / not married, children / no children - I don't think it's got much to do with it. So many people aren't out to themselves yet. I don't assume for the most part one way or the other. But sometimes my gaydar just says "yup! No doubt at all!" - and it doesn't matter how the person identifies.

Yup! Clear as mud!

ETA: I think it can be clearer when there is a GLBTQ community to identify with. Maybe that's why it's easier in some ways in a larger centre?

[DapperButch]

I would say that my gaydar and queerdar, in general, is pretty spot on from a range of masculine to even only somewhat androgynous females. And solid when it comes to gay men too.

I never make assumptions that a person is butch, however. I have seen/met many a masculine female who was gay, but not butch. That's internal, to me.

[Rook]

I've had a few "Misses", but they're very Rare...
For the most part, I keep the curiosity under an airtight Lid...
I think I learned to do this after I first came to the States..
My g/f's sister set off both gaydar & my curiosity on "Butch" based on how she dressed, carried herself, mannerisms in general..
At the time, I merely followed the stereotype of Butch when watching her..
I would ask my girl and she'd shrug sayin "she's always been that way"
Unfortunately[for my gaydar], she was happily married, and had a kid.
She was a self-proclaimed and true-blue proud redneck....

Nowadays, I try my best not to prematurely jump into conclusions based on appearances, since i've already had folks do the same towards me...

[MrSunshine]

Well I can't say I know what butch tastes like...

[adorable]

Like Jo said...here you can't assume anything at all based on appearance. EVEN if they are wearing pride necklaces, earrings, bracelets, underwear and/or hair bows.

Many women look androgynous here. It's a liberal place where everyone wants to "support" a right for everyone to do anything. It is the cool thing to do here.. bein' all kinds of prideful just in support. And earthy, we all must strive for earthy-ness.

So I don't see butch and femme when I look at gay people in a room. Here everyone looks so similar that you go by what people say regardless of how they look. <--for everyone but me of course. Fuckers.

Now do I make OTHER assumptions based on how they look regardless of gay straight or pookie snake? If I am looking at someone say in a club, I am not thinking about their ID, just whether I'd hit it which may lead to HOW, and of course in my fantasies everyone is thrilled with my choices....