Prenuptial Agreements. Anyone have one? Anyone who would consider one if they married?

[kittygrrl]

Anya, I agree. Sometimes when you leave a relationship the other person is not fair or nice and can be greedy. In my personal experience at the end of two long established relationships I did walk away from property, bank accounts, houses etc and felt totally fine about it because quibbling about it was less important then my freedom. Having grown older I understand the need for security but I guess I am not built that way exactly..it's not to say I don't appreciate comfort and security, I do. In a relationship you take care of each other and should provide for each other as much as possible and if you are both accumulating wealth together, each should realize their responsibility in being fair and/or providing for the security of their partner if they should perish..re..gardless of custom..it's just the right thing to do..but if you don't have confidence your partner will do the right thing in every circumstance then a pre nup might be the answer...but it wouldn't be mine.

[Kätzchen]

I was just here, the other day, reading alternate points of view, mostly because I already have personal baggage around the social right of Marriage; but more out of concern for prenuptial legal instrument development and implementation.

That said, and of course not every state in our country develops and implements or will uphold legal agreements, especially if political upheaval up ends time held rulings concerning prenuptial instruments, but I view prenuptial instruments as a way to protect your spouse in the event of untimely death or any other life altering circumstances.

For example, I wondered if an prenuptial instrument could be used to enforce any legal action taken by creditors or certain parties who believe that they're entitled to an share of the deceased member's estate.

In my mind, breakups and/or untimely circumstances of death equal troubling issues to deal with, during a what most likely is already a very painful situation.

[CherylNYC]

Originally Posted by Kätzchen

...For example, I wondered if an prenuptial instrument could be used to enforce any legal action taken by creditors or certain parties who believe that they're entitled to an share of the deceased member's estate.

In my mind, breakups and/or untimely circumstances of death equal troubling issues to deal with, during a what most likely is already a very painful situation.

This is an important consideration, especially because legal marriage equality didn't magically erase bigotry. My personal experience losing my partner and then my girlfriend, the former to an accident and the latter to illness, made me aware of just how petty and vicious people can become. A sudden death of a loved one can bring out the worst in people. Lot's of different kinds of people. You would never know that a friend/sibling/parent could react this way until they do. When people die, with or without a will, people with previously hidden bigotry around the validity of our relationships can and will seek redress in court. Nothing prevents a person from getting a lawyer and making a play for the assets of the deceased. Nothing prevents a bigoted judge from ruling from their viewpoint, either. A prenup is one more way to ensure that everyone's wishes will be respected at every stage of our relationship/life/death. My personal experience with the suddenly hostile family of my suddenly deceased partner was edifying in that regard.

I was also just having this discussion with a friend about prenups protecting heritable assets. She said she didn't own anything, but when I mentioned that she had elder parents who own a home she sat up and took notice. Her boyfriend who she may end up marrying is in the same position. Yes, they should get a prenup!

I own great tools, a car and some motorcycles. They aren't quite valuable enough for most people to get excited about, but the tiny house I bought in a slum so dangerous that it had national notoriety at the time is now a valuable NYC property. I still don't even have a will! I think about it and then I get depressed that I don't have a proper beneficiary. Everything else seems more important the minute I come up against that moment of sadness around losing my partner, and she died nearly fourteen years ago. I just can't seem to make myself buckle down to it.

Don't be like me.