Caregivers and Stress

[Greco]

Anya, Katzchen, girl_dee...as you know
I don't usually share my personal story, but I
feel compelled to share with you a small part
of my early story, and a bit of my now life.

I too am a survivor of severe emotional, physical
abuse at the hands of a step-mother. Somehow I
found the strength at 6yo to show one of my paternal
aunts my legs, arms, and back...my aunt took me
out of that place that very day. My paternal aunt
was what Alice Miller calls an "enlightened witness", that
is she protected me without question, and loved me until
her death in 2004. She loved classical music and played
it always at home. Classical music = love for me.

More cycles came in my life until I left home at 16
and never returned.

"No Contact" was imperative for my well-being
and until this day I count as my family only
my sisters, brothers, nieces, nephews and their
children. My paternal aunt died awhile ago as I've
mentioned but I know I'll see her again.

I want the ten commandments to begin with Honor thy Children.

Today, and for the last 3 decades one of my callings
has been as psychotherapist and yes, I "walk" with people
through the pain and darkness of their early, and not so early
abuse by personality disordered parents, families, partners, and
friends. This is not a "plug" for me, but an example of
how I pass on my own healing. My own therapy/healing
from abuse has been long, and has continued throughout
years in practice.

Anya, when you said and I quote, "I spent 5 years in
therapy, starting at age 21, because I did not want to
abuse/hurt/harm my own children if I did not learn
how to be different than my mother.", it brought tears
of joy to my heart, kudos for being a good mother, a
safe and loving mother.

Katzchen, kudos to you as well for doing the hard work
it takes to heal and having the strength of going no contact
with your family.

girl_dee, I've learned to honor only those that
honor me no matter who they are...there are
many survivors on this site and others who have
healed from abuse from parental figures. You are
not alone, and you are not crazy, or bad.

The characteristics that I have found in the people I work
with and myself are inner strength, courage, and resilience
off the charts. Without these characteristics we wouldn't
still be here, and another factor that is a spiritual one.

I'll stop here and say that Self-care - Self-protection = Self-Trust and Self-Love.

with much respect, and fondly, Greco