Caregivers and Stress

[MsTinkerbelly]

Originally Posted by Teddybear

My baby brother is an idiot. My mom told him today that he needed to be here the 1st weekend in August. He started making excuses about how he is doing something Labor Day. Momma told him that was in September. I am afraid he isn't going to step up and give me any help or time

She thinks neither of my brothers want to be near her. I'm afraid that she is right but I cant tell her that or do I?

I think both my brothers are afraid of watching her get sicker and eventually passing. I don't know how to handle that to be honest.


I just want to grab both of them up by the collar and shake them.

Momma and I talked about how I ended up here taking care of her. She told me that she KNEW that the boys wouldn't want to take care of her. I think she knows they are only thinking about the end. I don't want to think about that.

It isn't just me working 2 jobs with commute it is right t 100 hrs a week. I feel that it is expected of me to be available every minute of the day or night with NO semblance of a life. I think all need to be involved in some way.

How has others been able to get family to step up? How much time did it take? Was there in fighting? What was the outcome?

Thank you all for any and all insight.

My sister did almost nothing to help me with our mother; if I hadn't had my Kasey and my daughter, I would have lost my mind (and probably my life), as I worked full time, and had just had a triple bypass when we had to move in and care for her 24/7.

In the 2 years before mom passed, my sister stayed with her for a total of 6 hours 2 times so we could go to a school thing for my daughter, and out to a concert in the park. She had Thanksgiving at her house 1x, and Mom's day 1x right before she passed. I took her to all doctor's appointments and to dialysis 3x a week, dished out medication, cooked meals, bathed her, wiped her a@@, rubbed the leg cramps, sat with her while she cried in pain, and was with her while she lay dying in hospice care.

I wish I had insight for you, because I cried, begged, pleaded to no avail. Who is with your Mom while you are gone 100 hours a week? If she is alone, then tell her you have to have xyz number of hours away from the house without her or you won't be able to stay with her...if someone else stays with her, ask at your nearest senior center for someone who would like to volunteer to sit with her while you get out.

Sometimes, there is nothing you can do to make people be decent human beings, so I wouldn't depend on family to be there just because they should.

Take any, all, or nothing from my advice.

Blessings to you