Caregivers and Stress

[MsTinkerbelly]

Originally Posted by Teddybear

I could bite a 10penny nail in two.

Got Momma back into the ER. She had a CT scan and it showed a stroke. The doctor called said getting her to the ER for this and that. We have been here 5+ hours and we still don't know any DAMM thing.

Answers dammit. Like NOW

My brothers want to know why I haven't told them I thought it was a stroke when it happened. I'm like as y'all keep reminding me I am NOT a doctor.


I'm just done with the inadequate care I feel my mom is getting. It is extremely frustrating to say the least.

When parents get to be "of an age", Doctor's seem to forget they are people loved by their family. When my Mom was on dialysis, we struggled to keep her blood pressure high enough to complete her sessions. One day her doctor looked at me and said, "let her eat whatever she wants, let her smoke if it makes her happy"... I looked at him and he nodded....he had given up on her getting any better.

She was only 70 years old, and he didn't feel she was worth a try.

[Teddybear]

Originally Posted by MsTinkerbelly

When parents get to be "of an age", Doctor's seem to forget they are people loved by their family. When my Mom was on dialysis, we struggled to keep her blood pressure high enough to complete her sessions. One day her doctor looked at me and said, "let her eat whatever she wants, let her smoke if it makes her happy"... I looked at him and he nodded....he had given up on her getting any better.

She was only 70 years old, and he didn't feel she was worth a try.

Sorry you had to deal with that. It's a shame it has come to this.


Oh my mom is only 70 and I refuse to let them think she isn't worth it. And they KNOW it.

I research everything and talk to them like I am a colleague. I can carry on that conversation and they have yet to try and out do me I am sure because I come prepared.

I am hoping they finish and let her go home with an appointment for tomorrow or keep her right now it do something time or I may show my a$$

[girl_dee]

that is another perspective, dealing with the medical teams in regards to our parents.

my mom isn't speaking to me right now, but maybe that's better than the heartache that comes after i do talk to her.

This cold shoulder is bringing up lots of "stuff" and none of it is any good.

Hard to talk about.

[Teddybear]

Originally Posted by girl_dee

that is another perspective, dealing with the medical teams in regards to our parents.

my mom isn't speaking to me right now, but maybe that's better than the heartache that comes after i do talk to her.

This cold shoulder is bringing up lots of "stuff" and none of it is any good.

Hard to talk about.

I dont know what is worse them NOT speaking to us or what they say to us when they are talking to us.

My mom in the last week has asked me NOT to have top surgery until after she is gone then she told me not to get a kayak until after she is gone. I asked why and she told me because she is scared of them I told her i wasnt asking her to get in it. She got real hateful and said then just get the damm thing.

I am not sure if that is because she doesnt like the fact i am standing up for myself or if it is part of her having this stroke.

I hate waiting at the hospital however she refuses to let me be anywhere but here with her.

Im hoping for a good outcome i will report more later.

[MsTinkerbelly]

Originally Posted by girl_dee

that is another perspective, dealing with the medical teams in regards to our parents.

Anytime mom was near a doctor or hospital I was with her...I only left her at the end to go get food in the canteen. I can't tell you how many times I had to give her medical history, or tell them she was allergic (right there in her file) to a medication they were trying to give her!

Sick people (even younger people) need someone to be their advocate when they are in the hospital. I had a semi-medical background, but to most people medical stuff is just confusing as heck!

[girl_dee]

Yup and my mom umis convinced she is allergic to everything. Since i dont know what's real and what's not so i the assumption is that she does have allergies.. and they were giving her codeine last time... it clearly said she is allergic on all her paperwork.

Originally Posted by MsTinkerbelly

Anytime mom was near a doctor or hospital I was with her...I only left her at the end to go get food in the canteen. I can't tell you how many times I had to give her medical history, or tell them she was allergic (right there in her file) to a medication they were trying to give her!

Sick people (even younger people) need someone to be their advocate when they are in the hospital. I had a semi-medical background, but to most people medical stuff is just confusing as heck!

[Teddybear]

Originally Posted by girl_dee

Yup and my mom umis convinced she is allergic to everything. Since i dont know what's real and what's not so i the assumption is that she does have allergies.. and they were giving her codeine last time... it clearly said she is allergic on all her paperwork.

My grandfather was allergic to iodine. It was in BIG letters on the outside of his chart. When CT scans first came out the contrast dye had iodine in them. They moved him from one hospital to another, got him all prepped for the CT scan and the procedure he was scheduled for. As they were getting ready to shoot the dye into his arm when the dr seen the BIG letters on his chart that said ALLERGIC and then iodine.

We all know that multiple ppl see these charts from doctors to the transport person that took him from one hospital to another.


I am thankful they caught it prior to using it on him we had another 16 years with him.

[Teddybear]

Okay here's an update

My mom's been in the hospital since Monday she is supposed to have been released today but before the end of the day and they can release her she started having issues again.

So Monday I called the doctor that was going to do the heart surgery and was told it would probably be December or January before they got to her which really threw a monkey wrench into everything since I've gotten a promotion at my job and we'll have to move to work at the corporate office.

So today I came back from a meeting and been back about 45 minutes at the hospital she was getting her transfusion and things were looking up then the phone rang and it was the Doctor Who was going to do her heart surgery office. They were calling to see if we were interested in taking the appointment for her heart surgery next Wednesday so let me tell you I jumped at it.

Now we're in a race to get everything lined up so her to have the surgery next week Friday she has to be in Atlanta has to be back in Atlanta Wednesday morning for the surgery and she has stuff she has to do down here related to this Hospital stay.

I'm about ready to pull my hair out I was supposed to be in Little Rock next Thursday Friday and Saturday for training but that ain't happening now if she has surgery on Wednesday.

She is trying to keep me here in every way possible even though it is a step up in my career to take the job at corporate I will be over two departments actually. I work very hard to get here to be in this position and if it was my brother's she would be telling him to go right now but because it's me that's not what's happening and it's really creating a lot of animosity toward her.

I'm torn between taking the job and moving without her and I'm not taking the job or taking the job and taking her with me all three are viable. I'm just praying on it and letting the universe take over cuz I know that wherever I need to be is where I will be

Thank you for listening and letting me throw this out there. I hope everybody's family is well y'all are well and things are less stressful for you thank you again