Respecting Women's Space as a transgender male

[TenderKnight]

Originally Posted by Hudson

I guess I'm confused as to why any man (cis or trans) would need to explain why he doesn't go to 'lesbian' or 'women' events by stating he's 'not a woman'. Does it feel threatening to be invited? The OP and this one sound misogynistic to me. It *sounds* like you're rejecting woman space because there are women involved, not because you're uninterested in the activity or event.

Well, honestly, I *AM* rejecting it because women are involved. I have just started to pass and those that knew be before I started hormones thought of me as a really butch female.. I could be VERY interested in the activity and actually may way to go.. But I also know that there those involved in said events that wouldn't want me there because I am male. I try not to disrespect people as a general rule.

Do I feel threatened by being invited? No, a little exasperated? Yes. Would a transwomen want to be invited to an all gay male event? Maybe, but usually no.. Because they are women, not gay men or drag queens.

On a side note, I could be invited because this person doesn't respect my ID.. Or the inviter could just be "respecting my past as female".. Whatever the reason, I don't belong at a women's only event. Sorry you feel this is misogynistic, that wasn't my intent. I am human and can't please everyone with my thoughts or the way I word them.

Thanks for your post and letting me clarify myself..

-Tony

[EnderD_503]

Apparently I need to rep more people before repping you again, but good topic TenderKnight. I've found myself in an unlikely situation that has this subject on my mind a lot lately, though moreso from the perspective of a male id'd butch. Despite that society perceives me as female (albeit a rather masculine one) I've always felt male, and so I find myself unsure what to do when required to enter women only spaces. Others say that such spaces are for all women or all females no matter who they are. To me, I'm none of the above, which is not easily explained in this situation and so I have no "excuse" to give to avoid the requirement. I am doing a lot of good by entering that space, but I still feel like an invader.

I'm still unsure of what to do, or what would be the more honourable choice, but I, for one, am glad this topic is being discussed. Thanks for starting this thread.

[PapaC]

regarding things like big events, advertised events and so on and so forth, if something is advertised as a "Women" or a "lesbian" event, I will not go to that event (well, 100% for sure wouldn't go to that event on my own). It doesn't have to say "women only". But I would attend events that specify 'trans friendly' or 'all genders' but not a specific lesbian event. It's out of respect for women's space and also for my own personal comfort level. Fact is, most generic lesbians/lesbian spaces wouldn't 'get' the whole ID thing.

As for Queer spaces, that's a no brainer as I'll always ID as queer, feel queer, and therefore belong in 'queer' space, whether I look like a straight male or not.

my .02