Breaking The Stereotype!

[Daryn]

I am GQ guy and

I have changed my own oil but I prefer not too
I like to cook and am pretty good at it
I care about aesthetics and art
Snakes freak me out
I *hate* plumbing (but will do it if I must)
I am not much of a handyman
I like flowers and flower arranging
I write pretty emotional poetry
I have been known change my shirt 10 times if I am getting ready to go out
I am competent at math but it bores me to freaking tears
I finally embraced that my ideal vocal range is coloratura soprano

[little man]

mice, bugs and snakes freak me out...yes, i squeal and go the other way

i'm a good cook

i've learned to enjoy baking...i make a fine, fine sweet potato pie and can rock some baklava

i can sew (i have plans to make obnoxiously bright hawaiian shirts for myself)

i dislike working on cars

i enjoy decorating, arranging furniture and artsy stuff

i prefer romantic comedies and weep copiously at the sad parts (and the happy parts)

i enjoy having dinner parties and set a lovely table (although i cannot be in charge of the guest list)

i'm not always very good at opening jars

i am nurturing by nature

i'm really good at laundry and i enjoy ironing

[Beau]

I really don't understand how copping to stereotypical behaviors of male (if you're femme) or female (if you're butch) is breaking down any stereotypes at all. If anything, I believe it perpetuates the mindset that behaviors have some gender association.

I'm not trying to be a thread-kill or an asshole. I just. don't. get. it.

my existence is meant to break stereotypes,
Beau - butch, lesbian, woman, human being

[JustJo]

Originally Posted by Beau

I really don't understand how copping to stereotypical behaviors of male (if you're femme) or female (if you're butch) is breaking down any stereotypes at all. If anything, I believe it perpetuates the mindset that behaviors have some gender association.

I'm not trying to be a thread-kill or an asshole. I just. don't. get. it.

my existence is meant to break stereotypes,
Beau - butch, lesbian, woman, human being

To me it's not about copping to behaviors, it's about celebrating the fact that these are all parts of me. The traditional and the not-so-traditional...and that's how I break the stereotype...just by being myself.

[Gayla]

Originally Posted by Beau

I really don't understand how copping to stereotypical behaviors of male (if you're femme) or female (if you're butch) is breaking down any stereotypes at all. If anything, I believe it perpetuates the mindset that behaviors have some gender association.

I'm not trying to be a thread-kill or an asshole. I just. don't. get. it.

my existence is meant to break stereotypes,
Beau - butch, lesbian, woman, human being

Beau - My intent was not have have people "cop" to behavior of the opposite gender but to talk about the things they do that could be seen as "un" by other member's of this community. In the past, I've been told I was not butch enough because I have a girly name, have worked in a predominately female profession, like trashy romance novels and play female characters in video games.

None of these things make me "un-butch" or "less butch" although there are many people in our community that think butch and femme are about what someone wears, likes/dislikes, does, says, etc. My point is that it doesn't. As has been often said, even in a dress and heels, I'm still butch.

The things I like and don't like are just personal traits that make me an individual. I think it's important to celebrate those things in a space that does not often do so.

[Beau]

I appreciate your perspective on this, Gayla. I was just responding to how it read to me after viewing a page or so of posts that seem to revert to the "girls play with dolls"/"boys play with trucks" mindset.

I get that it's not okay for some in this community to think of butches as being associated with certain behaviors/activities (and the same for femmes). I still stand by my reaction that it perpetuates the notion that behaviors and activities have a gender association. They don't, and that's the only point I was trying to make.

I appreciate any effort to help others have a more expansive view of gender even if I don't see it happening in this way.

Originally Posted by gayla

Beau - My intent was not have have people "cop" to behavior of the opposite gender but to talk about the things they do that could be seen as "un" by other member's of this community. In the past, I've been told I was not butch enough because I have a girly name, have worked in a predominately female profession, like trashy romance novels and play female characters in video games.

None of these things make me "un-butch" or "less butch" although there are many people in our community that think butch and femme are about what someone wears, likes/dislikes, does, says, etc. My point is that it doesn't. As has been often said, even in a dress and heels, I'm still butch.

The things I like and don't like are just personal traits that make me an individual. I think it's important to celebrate those things in a space that does not often do so.

[Massive]

Have to add this now, My given name is Rose.
I embrace My name, I love it, and does it make me less or more than who I am? Fuck No. It's Me, My name, I love it, My Mum gave it to Me and I wouldn't change a damn thing about it.
Does it change who I am? Nope!
I am who I am, regardless of how I ID, what I wear, what I do in My day to day life ...
If someone thinks less of Me because I enjoy sewing or making jewelry, then it's on their own head, I do what I do because I like it, not because someone who doesn't know Me thinks it's wrong ...

[Jett]

I love shopping... especially for clothes... cause I'm a clothes whore.

It takes me a long ass time to get ready to go out for the eve...

I love long hot bathes

I like specialty drinks like mimosa's and margaritas, made just so. If I get grief from a bud, I like to reply... "nevermind that... we're finally alone..." and wink.

Junebugs make me dance and swear F*@% me! F*@% me! F*@%% me!

... and.. ok...

... I wear eyeliner, something I hadn't done for 20 years... I've been told me eyes are my best feature, so hell... I like it... I don't care.

[DapperButch]

Today I was sitting with a client (psychotherapy), and she told me that she was starting a business selling her cross stiching...

I thought back to my cross stiching a picture of a mouse holding a clarinet for my clarinet playing best friend in the 6th grade for Xmas (Mom's idea), and thought...I wonder if she still has that....I will need to call and ask...it is the only thing I ever cross stiched..

...and then I thought....hmmm...maybe I should try cross stiching again...maybe I would like it as an adult...

...then I realized that <cough>, my client had changed topics...

ETA: I just texted my clarinet playing friend....she does indeed still have the tiny 2x3 inch clarinet playing mouse in its little plastic frame. She has saved it all this time...we are now 40 years old!

[ravfem]

Originally Posted by Massive

Have to add this now, My given name is Rose.
I embrace My name, I love it, and does it make me less or more than who I am? Fuck No. It's Me, My name, I love it, My Mum gave it to Me and I wouldn't change a damn thing about it.
Does it change who I am? Nope!
I am who I am, regardless of how I ID, what I wear, what I do in My day to day life ...
If someone thinks less of Me because I enjoy sewing or making jewelry, then it's on their own head, I do what I do because I like it, not because someone who doesn't know Me thinks it's wrong ...

i love it when Massi sends a text and signs it "Daddy Rose", makes my heart melt.

When i told someone Hys name, they responded, "oh, that's a really butch name," and laughed. i didn't understand her reaction because she is very outspoken about people not accepting her as the butch woman she is (and changed her name legally because it was too feminine).

i LOVE that Hy makes jewelry (ok, that could be because *i* am benefiting from that skill) and thank goodness Hy can sew, because i so cannot (and come to think of it, i'll be benefiting from that skill, too!).

And, Hy ROCKS the pink hair, that's all i'm sayin.

Hys proud girl, rhonda

[Daryn]

Originally Posted by gayla

Beau - My intent was not have have people "cop" to behavior of the opposite gender but to talk about the things they do that could be seen as "un" by other member's of this community. In the past, I've been told I was not butch enough because I have a girly name, have worked in a predominately female profession, like trashy romance novels and play female characters in video games.

None of these things make me "un-butch" or "less butch" although there are many people in our community that think butch and femme are about what someone wears, likes/dislikes, does, says, etc. My point is that it doesn't. As has been often said, even in a dress and heels, I'm still butch.

The things I like and don't like are just personal traits that make me an individual. I think it's important to celebrate those things in a space that does not often do so.

Here. Here.

A number (more than 5) of years ago, I got together with a group of b-f peeps around here to go fishing. I asked for help with something and got a raft if crap questioning my butchness and masculinity for asking for help. WTF? The cis-guys I work with ask for help from others when they need it, despite the whole guys never ask for directions (and yeah I will ask for directions rather than get lost or more lost) b.s.

Most cis guys worry about being perceived as male enough by their peers too. Why is it that we cannot just let people be?

[Rook]

K, for starters..
as a Butch...I am not 'just like men', I may be masculine, I may be emotionally TG, but physically I'm a womyn, true...
I don't act like a man, or what society deems is a mans behavior or mannerisms....
If a butch wore a long skirt, with pink blouse & heels, within the butch/femme community there are those who'd find it highly strange of That butch due to the common perception of a Butchs appearance and rejection of the typically feminine attire in favor of much more comfortable Gender neutral and / or masculine attire, nevermind the Reason why said individual wears it {it could be a mandatory uniform, they could be in the Closet, it could even be a cultural issue}...My mother's boyfriend{bio-male} once educated me {shock!!!} when I was 16...there's a difference between man, male, masculine...and woman, female, feminine....
One can be masculine w/o being physically a Man....And feminine w/o being a woman physically {MtF}, male and female are society binary to validate ones absolute Sex, not Gender.
When an individual is Intersex, that theory goes right out the window and makes a few people nervous, since they have no fuckin clue which Box to shove that individual in, oftentimes it won't matter either way, that person will choose for themself.
That stayed in my mind for some time...And every now and then I'll be reminded of it after a comment, remark, or snub...

{♦ Lovin the Femmes list here, almost as much as the Butches....}

[SuperFemme]

I like this thread, and it IS empowering to see how many of you don't feed into those pesky binary gender stereotypes.

That is the whole point, no? How ridiculous it is that a woman who changes oil isn't Femme? Or how a Butch who maybe likes doors held open for her/hym is somehow less Butch?

We are all human beings.

[amiyesiam]

can we all sing She Bop by Cindy Lauper?

[Corkey]

Originally Posted by June

DO OVER! DO OVER!


Let's sing now

Kumbyah.... now your local weather on the 8's

[Dylan]

I'm a man and...

I own a see through blouse

I also own the most fabulous, flaired-at-the-bottom, most colorfully striped pair of women's pants that go with the see through blouse, and I call them my Solstice Pants (but I can't fit into them anymore).

The fact that I can't wear my Solstice Pants makes me sad

I will stand quietly panicky in the background while Mahhh Woman kills any critters or removes any carcasses.

I hate to be the person or assumed person "manning" the BBQ at a cookout

I have the biggest crushes on: George Clooney, Paul Newman, Eddie Vedder, Robert Redford in any cowboy movie (but especially 'Butch Cassidy And The Sundance Kid"), Jude Law, and The Transporter Guy (among others)

I talk to plants and flowers in baby voice while I rub their little leaves

It's always been a dream of mine to be a backup dancer/singer for Aretha Franklin, and I've designed the outfit and choreographed the whole concert.

My backup dancer outfit is a fitted mini dress, preferably neon blue, lime green, or bright orange with wide white lapels and worn with white, knee high, patent leather go go boots with a thick, chunky 3ish inch heel

And I really have choreographed the entire show

If snakes get too close to me or surprise me outta nowhere, I scream and jump on whomever's closest

I gag if I have to empty the sink drain of food particles

I've slept with more men than I have women

I helped a femme fix MY tire today


Dylan...and I consider butch part of my gender identity

[Dylan]

Originally Posted by Dylan

My backup dancer outfit is a fitted mini dress, preferably neon blue, lime green, or bright orange with wide white lapels and worn with white, knee high, patent leather go go boots with a thick, chunky 3ish inch heel

Oh, I left out the belt...a 2" to 3" wide, patent leather, white belt with stitching to match the dress (neon blue, orange, or lime green)


And A Neckerchief Tied To The Side,
Dylan