Setting the bar high?

[Kätzchen]

Originally Posted by BullDog

For me it is a combination of knowing what those core things are that I need to have in common or to be compatible with in a partner, along with staying open to realizing that you can end up being pleasantly surprised by someone who has characteristics, interests, etc. that you never thought you would be compatible with or enjoy in a person.

As I have gotten older, some "practical" things have become more important to me than they used to. I need things to be fairly quiet and stable, and I'm not so ready to just leap up to move across the country on a big risk for love. It doesn't mean I won't do it, but I am more cautious than I used to be and more aware of my own limitations - like being hypersensitive to noise. I can't just live anywhere or with anyone. So I think my bar has been raised - more in what I can risk or do maybe than what I necessarily expect from someone else. I think this is still on topic.

I think knowing yourself and your own limitations and what you need is key to being able to have a healthy and lasting relationship, but certainly is no guarantee.

So I guess my short answer is I believe in having my core things but also to being open to being pleasantly surprised. My bar might not be the highest, but I think it is higher than it used to be.

You've grown so much over the past decade (and a half), Bulldog. I surely appreciate your own self reflection in coming to understand yourself in terms of your own limitations as contrasted by what makes your life feel right for you.

thanks for your timely post!