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04-18-2018, 06:48 PM
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#18 |
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Hm, I guess since I’m relatively anonymous online I can state my fears... 🙈🙈
Like most people, I fear getting hurt, but I think because of some childhood issues which I posted about elsewhere, I’m incredibly wary of letting anyone close. My closest friends said it took *years* to get to know me because I keep people at a distance, or as my sister said, I’m “prickly.” I love being alone and I love my freedom, but I live with the terror I’ll go through that childhood stuff again. In February, I made myself go out on a date and I actually liked the woman, but I just imagined all the awful things she could do so it turned into an awkward nightmare. I bet she’s a wonderful person and I wish I could apologize to her, but my brain sort of goes into panic mode.
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“(I)f we are going to be kind, let it be out of simple generosity, not because we fear guilt or retribution.” --from Disgrace by JM Coetzee |
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| Tags |
| dating, hurt, insecurity, relationships, scars |
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