Asking the Femme's for help!?!

[C0LLETTE]

Jedi: "And she was impossible to get off the phone once she was on."
What happened to "click...hang up" once the hairs on the back of your neck stood up?
And what was it you wanted, given you already "were not single anymore". To me it seems you hung in there far too long for all of this to be blamed on her.
Maybe you should take this as a learning moment about your own behaviour and then move on.

[Jedi]

Originally Posted by C0LLETTE

Jedi: "And she was impossible to get off the phone once she was on."
What happened to "click...hang up" once the hairs on the back of your neck stood up?
And what was it you wanted, given you already "were not single anymore". To me it seems you hung in there far too long for all of this to be blamed on her.
Maybe you should take this as a learning moment about your own behaviour and then move on.

I did say I was too nice for too long. But I did finally set the boundaries I needed to and she got mad.

[C0LLETTE]

Originally Posted by Jedi

I did say I was too nice for too long. But I did finally set the boundaries I needed to and she got mad.

In that case, what kind of answer/help are you asking for? How would any Femmes here be able to give you advice beyond what you already know?

You want advice on how to prevent her from being "mad" at you?
OK, let her walk all over you, she won't be mad at you anymore.

[Jedi]

I was asking if she had ulterior motives. I have been told that some femmes are that way. That they have to stake their claim on a butch. I'm not available for any femme to do that but my gf. She is the only one who has a right to stake any sort of claim.

[C0LLETTE]

Originally Posted by Jedi

I was asking if she had ulterior motives. I have been told that some femmes are that way. That they have to stake their claim on a butch. I'm not available for any femme to do that but my gf. She is the only one who has a right to stake any sort of claim.

Basically claiming a stake involves driving a "capped steel posts, which must be four feet tall" likely through your forehead so it can be seen by all.
I doubt that this is a practice reserved for Femmes.
Don't you think that relationships are healthier when people actually want to be together and both of you project a relationship that isn't up for grabs without that big thing sticking out of both your foreheads.

You know, it's really not that hard to do if you actually believe in your relationship and don't "flirt" with risk that you KNOW might be trouble.

[randomnotes]

Originally Posted by Jedi

I was asking if she had ulterior motives. I have been told that some femmes are that way. That they have to stake their claim on a butch. I'm not available for any femme to do that but my gf. She is the only one who has a right to stake any sort of claim.

This may sound weird but was she southern? It's fairly normal here in the South to say ”babe” and ”hon” ”sweetheart,” etc. To strangers even. I hate it. Intend to call everyone ”sistergirl” or ”brother” in place of that. Since I'm from Texas we also interchangeably say ”friend.” whenever someone calls me ”hon” or ”sweetheart” especially a man I have to refrain from going off. I tend to let it slide but look visibly uncomfortable. If it continues I will usually crack a joke ”I’m no sweetheart I'm full of piss and vinegar” etc. But sometimes (especially with those significantly older than me) it doesn't work.

Now my amazingly handsome butch wife, she has a number of female friends that call her bae, babe, wifey, or sweetie. And I do not care for it. Not one little bit. Especially when she refers to them in the same way (which I find really weird because she literally never refers to me as any of those names preferring my actual name or occasionally babe). But we've been together seven years now and I've learned to let it go and just roll my eyes. I know who's bed she's going to be in at night. And I really don't think her friends (pretty much all heterosexual) mean anything by it. It's just weird. So I probably wouldn't overthink the hun part.

Now the Walmart part is ridiculous, in poor form and just plain rude.

[JDeere]

Originally Posted by Jedi

I was asking if she had ulterior motives. I have been told that some femmes are that way. That they have to stake their claim on a butch. I'm not available for any femme to do that but my gf. She is the only one who has a right to stake any sort of claim.

She probably does.

The way she acts looks like it to me. Not getting ur hints etc and especially not respecting ur relationship.

Id say cut ur losses, delete the website and block her from ur life.

[C0LLETTE]

For once, in a long time, I think JDeere makes total, absolute sense.

..hiya JD!

[homoe]

Originally Posted by Jedi

I was asking if she had ulterior motives. I have been told that some femmes are that way. That they have to stake their claim on a butch. I'm not available for any femme to do that but my gf. She is the only one who has a right to stake any sort of claim.

Jedi, so sorry this happened!


Femmes btw, IF any of you's are looking to stake a claim, I'm more than available!

[CherylNYC]

Originally Posted by homoe

Jedi, so sorry this happened!


Femmes btw, IF any of you's are looking to stake a claim, I'm more than available!

While you sound sincere and adorable, I hope you don't mean that you seek the kind of attention Jedi described! That doesn't sound healthy at all.

I hope you don't think I'm presumptuous in speaking for you, but I would like to suggest to my femme sisters that Homoe is seeking to be claimed by a POLITE someone with GOOD BOUNDARIES.

[homoe]

Originally Posted by CherylNYC

While you sound sincere and adorable, I hope you don't mean that you seek the kind of attention Jedi described! That doesn't sound healthy at all.

I hope you don't think I'm presumptuous in speaking for you, but I would like to suggest to my femme sisters that Homoe is seeking to be claimed by a POLITE someone with GOOD BOUNDARIES.

Exactly Cheryl! Thank you