My poems

[akiza]

Feelings tend to hold you
At once as captive then guardian of that jail
Passing long period of time
Drawing on a wall made of black stones
Jot having enough guests to feel visible
So fading away
Outside with the corpses once gone
These writtings as witnesses of
A programmed long agony
That dear guard tall and silent
Representating who's sweared vows of
Silence on front of this condamned
Indifferent to any whines or manifestation of feelings
Only welcomed distraction
The wind passing through the window
Of his little office away from
A vortex of caged demons
Still refusing to know the extent of his crimes
The files never lie after all

[akiza]

Where are you going now?
Driving me mad with all that walk
Robbing my light and leaving me behind
In a cold and empty dark piece
Trying to identify objects only with my ears
And with luck, that fairy who is flirting
And tempting me like a brand
New pearl under the ocean
Like an insect hypnotized by a perfume
Waiting for your strong steps to crush me
Following these clues to get out
Taking me near the sea
Under your watch for a last date
You, the sea, the moon and I

[akiza]

Staying here
waiting for the fall of leaves
Telling me yes for a new start
All night sleeping under the stars
Imagining myself as one of them
Away from earth
Worrying only about shining freely
Building a bridge getting me further
From things asking me to stay
Stay longer and see what breaks out of that
Lost somewhere between the underworld
Skin pelling of the meat from one side
And glowing like wings of a lady bug
Under the sun on the other
Looking through the crack
For some equilibrium

[akiza]

Beggar since birth
Attentive for any sign first from family
Then friends
Beggar for one praise over daily tasks
Begging you on my knees deep inside
Of my maze of mind
Should i use one more catalyser
To vote for my case?
Beggar's not a chooser some said
Over that road made of stones and flames
Begging has transformed my essence
Into one plain deserted island
Where chains felt strong enough
To sustain another heartbreak
Begging mine of fooled heart to let go
Of all that pain

[akiza]

There was a time where i thought
you were my terminus
even when signals were telling me
how wrong i was
Naturally stubborn mind refused
to belive that
At your side fear was forgotten
Hate was muted and locked
In that dark room hich key
always played tricks on me
Screams had gone silent
There was a time where a lost and scared
little girl would have ran to you
It has changed now
Little girl has found another place
To use as cover
She has set you free
From your invisible chains
Calmly removed herself
Ran away
Battered heart pumping
On a dying heart
Your eyes keep falling back
Remembering a ghost of a relationship
That burned followed by that bridge

[akiza]

You
I've met you when the sand was making
Another prisoner of me in his land
I've been asking myself
why do you love me so much?
A nobody owning nothing?
A nobody praying to disappear in the veil of death?
Why do you love me?
Why do you love me?
You've told me of being the star of your nights
Keeping you wanting another day of life
The best event to ever happen to you
And you?
Do you know how much of reminders notes each days
I needed to burn in the restroom?
Saying "it's another day and they still are here loving you,lucky bitch! Amen!"
Bittersweet words ringing so much
truthfully in my ears
You, you, owner of my heart and soul
Yes you do have them too

[akiza]

Dear little one
You don't know how many papers have found themselves in the bin
I wanted to tell you so many things
but i guess it wasn't satisfying enough
So i let you be the judge

I wasn't here when taking your first breath in this world,
I missed your firsts steps, words, so many instants of yohr childhood
I'm sure you're tempted to burn this letter
but i hope that you'll keep on reading
Many reasons came to mind but i know
they're just excuses at your eyes
You are the apple of my eyes, my dream came true, my best accomplishment
You're the proof that that something good can come out of me
I wasn't here for years
That hurts me so much, my heart is broken
I can't imagine what you've and still felt today
I plaid guilty
If i could turn back the time
so many things would be different
It's sadly impossible
Maybe if there's still some light left
In your heart to give us an opportunity
To rekindle some kind of bond
It'll be the best gift i'll ever have
If not i'll understand and respect gour choice
Remember daddy loves you now, tomorrow until the world falls apart

That's what i'ld have written to you if i was courageous enough to get it down, all these words are stuck in my head, I have no strenght to face you
So i let things as they are, it's the only way to go.