Breeder and other words we use to hurt our own.

[SuperFemme]

Originally Posted by cybersuebee

I've only ever heard the term used in a good-hearted joking way, and have not used it since I became aware that it has a derogotory connotation to some. However, why do we assume that it's used only in reference to women. I've heard it used to refer to differenciate heterosexuals from homosexuals - no reference to gender that I'm aware of.

Can you use it in a sentence in a good hearted joking way?

I'm really super curious as to what that sounds like.

I'm not being snarky, I just don't know how that could be so.

As far as differentiating between heterosexuals and homosexuals I think that is still just as rude. Women are not bred. Men are not studded out. Homo's are parents too, so I don't get the differentiation.

[suebee]

Originally Posted by SuperFemme

Can you use it in a sentence in a good hearted joking way?

I'm really super curious as to what that sounds like.

I'm not being snarky, I just don't know how that could be so.

As far as differentiating between heterosexuals and homosexuals I think that is still just as rude. Women are not bred. Homo's are parents too, so I don't get the differentiation.

I won't give an example as the difference between something said in a non-harmful way and an insulting way is most often not in the words but in the context, tone, etc. However that's just the background of the usage I'm aware of. My real question is whether or not people think it's in reference to women only.

[SuperFemme]

Originally Posted by cybersuebee

I won't give an example as the difference between something said in a non-harmful way and an insulting way is most often not in the words but in the context, tone, etc. However that's just the background of the usage I'm aware of. My real question is whether or not people think it's in reference to women only.

That makes sense...totally. I hear you on the context so fair enough, no example needed.

In answer to your question, no. I don't think it is in reference to women only. I also don't think it's appropriate to use on any gender. Seriously.

[Dylan]

Originally Posted by SuperFemme

Women are not bred.

Women in this country are groomed to breed/reproduce/carry on the human race/however you choose to say it.

Because women are seen as objects. Whores and mothers. Sinner or saint. They're not seen as individuals. Housekeepers and secretaries. And if they don't want to have kids, there's something wrong with them...or they hate men. And every thing they do is (supposedly) done for the benefit of a man or to get a man. Don't believe me? Pink is on the cover of Cosmo this month talking about sex secrets...because even someone as strong as Pink is catering to a man and worried about 'keeping her man happy'.

It started with religion, and it's perpetrated through a sexist culture. Girls and women are sooooo groomed for it that they can't even decide for themselves if they can have an abortion.

It's in every commercial geared toward women, and it's perpetuated in every commercial for children. "Take care of these precious little ponies". "Take care of this little baby". "Clean the house with this play set". "Make your baby dinner with this kitchen set". "Put make up on, so you can get a man, so you can have babies".

So, seriously, you think girls/women aren't bombarded with this message from the second that F goes on that birth certificate?


Honestly,
Dylan

[The_Lady_Snow]

Believe it or not..

Some women

Wanted to be mommies.....

gasp...

true story

[Spirit Dancer]

It wasn't instilled or grilled into me
to have children, I chose the gift of life.
It was my sole choice not to abort, mine alone
no influence from outside sources.
I raised my daughter to be and stand strong
to make her own decisions on having a child,
she's chosen to do just that and I adore her
no matter what.
Woman are intelligent and can chose their fate to have
children or not.

[SuperFemme]

Wait. What does ffs mean?

[Nat]

Originally Posted by SuperFemme

Wait. What does ffs mean?

for fuck's sake?

for further study?

fringe field switching?

fee for service?

[SuperFemme]

Originally Posted by Nat

for fuck's sake?

for further study?

fringe field switching?

fee for service?

ohhhhh. thanks.

[Spirit Dancer]

What I never understood was
why do those who choose not to have children
feel the need to judge those of us who do and
them flame us with those nasty little words.
They made their choice, we made ours and if your
reading this today, thank a mother.

[SuperFemme]

I think it's safe to say that the "connotation" is offensive.

[Nat]

Originally Posted by Spirit Dancer

What I never understood was
why do those who choose not to have children
feel the need to judge those of us who do and
them flame us with those nasty little words.
They made their choice, we made ours and if your
reading this today, thank a mother.

I think because people without children feel oppressed by those who have them?

I knew two sisters who stopped talking for a whole year because the one with a child told the one without a child that she didn't feel like she was a real woman until she gave birth. So it cuts both ways. It's painful on both sides, I think.

[Spirit Dancer]

Originally Posted by Nat

I think because people without children feel oppressed by those who have them?

I knew two sisters who stopped talking for a whole year because the one with a child told the one without a child that she didn't feel like she was a real woman until she gave birth. So it cuts both ways. It's painful on both sides, I think.

Yes I know that, but was referring to those who made the choice not
to have a child. I feel for those who want and cannot have a child, my heart breaks for them.

[Liam]

I think it is heterophobic.

[Nat]

I was watching youtubes of queer poetry recently and I ran into this discussion of the term "stud." I found it really interesting because I'd never heard anybody argue against the use of the term "stud" within the queer community and also because of the relationship of that word to breeding animals. Obviously this is a term many people in our community claim with pride, I really think there are possible parallels between the terms "stud" and "breeder."

(Since you mentioned other words that hurt our own)

[Jet]

This doesn't surprise me at all. There's a lot of discrimination in the queer community and I have been the object as such.

I had gay men friends who always used breeder when talking about straights. None of this is new to me.

[apretty]

Originally Posted by Spirit Dancer

What I never understood was
why do those who choose not to have children
feel the need to judge those of us who do and
them flame us with those nasty little words.
They made their choice, we made ours and if your
reading this today, thank a mother.

thank a mother for what?

people are so self-righteous about giving birth, i really don't get it: it usually happens by accident and in 99% of cases there is *zero* preparation and planning and all that shit that "the gays" have to go through to acquire a kid.

sorry, i just think you're *really* misguided when you say that everyone childless chooses to be childless.

and really, how can you have this kind of world-view of mothers and women when you appropriate native american culture in that other thread--the two are so hard for me to reconcile.

[Spirit Dancer]

Originally Posted by apretty

thank a mother for what?

people are so self-righteous about giving birth, i really don't get it: it usually happens by accident and in 99% of cases there is *zero* preparation and planning and all that shit that "the gays" have to go through to acquire a kid.

sorry, i just think you're *really* misguided when you say that everyone childless chooses to be childless.

and really, how can you have this kind of world-view of mothers and women when you appropriate native american culture in that other thread--the two are so hard for me to reconcile.

That is not what I said, I said their are those that chose not to and their
are those that cannot for medical reasons, I said my heart broke for those who cannot have children, and if your reading this then someone a woman gave you life.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Nat
I think because people without children feel oppressed by those who have them?

I knew two sisters who stopped talking for a whole year because the one with a child told the one without a child that she didn't feel like she was a real woman until she gave birth. So it cuts both ways. It's painful on both sides, I think.

Yes I know that, but was referring to those who made the choice not
to have a child. I feel for those who want and cannot have a child, my heart breaks for them.
__________________I said the red area