Breeder and other words we use to hurt our own.

[firie]

I think some women are going to view motherhood as very sacred, and so it indeed is. Some women are going to view it as torture, have no connection to a child or children, to the point of harming that child or killing that child. I think sacred as an absolute is or can be very problematic, because it gets into the heart of the myth that "every woman should achieve motherhood to be valued" which for those that don't really want the experience of motherhood but through process of socialization, peer pressure, religious thinking, or whatever else influences that which is beyond a woman's absolute and outright individual will, well, some of those women can and do find themselves along with fetus and child in a great deal of pain perhaps.

I remember many years ago clearly debating with a friend about the "natural" instincts of motherhood, and she schooled me in the knowledge that loving a child wasn't a natural instinct of all women. It made me change my thought process on it all (I was like 23 or so, I think, so very naive). It taught me not to think in absolutes.

I don't know if that makes any sense or is a derail, but I view motherhood as sacred, when it is sacred (meaning that a mother views it as such). I don't view motherhood as sacred when clearly it is not sacred, say in the cases where it has only brought the worst of feelings toward motherhood because, well, motherhood was the mark of oppression and not one of joy, as viewed in the personal experience of a mother. I guess I am speaking from the place, that if a mother told me that she did not view her experience of motherhood as sacred, but instead as tortuous (it's been said to me before), then I wouldn't argue with her and tell her that she is indeed wrong on that, and ALL of motherhood is sacred. I hope this makes sense.

I am not a mother, so therefore, my personal experience cannot inform me if that experience is indeed sacred. I could very well be the mother that views it differently so I cannot judge there and say all of motherhood is sacred.

[evolveme]

Originally Posted by firie

I think sacred as an absolute is or can be very problematic, because it gets into the heart of the myth that "every woman should achieve motherhood to be valued" which for those that don't really want the experience of motherhood but through process of socialization, peer pressure, religious thinking, or whatever else influences that which is beyond a woman's absolute and outright individual will, well, some of those women can and do find themselves along with fetus and child in a great deal of pain perhaps.

My experience of motherhood is sacred to me.

This does not erase the reality of innumerable women and girls all over the world who are daily forced into the condition of motherhood against their ability or right to choose such a condition for themselves. To denounce the use of the term "breeder" even in an effort to construct a framework in understanding how it is used against women by the very paradigm that has created these conditions, seems to me, another method of limiting our choices in how we work to combat what has happened/is happening to us.

No one here - not one person - has argued that this word is not harmful. The original intent, to my reading, was to discuss exactly how harmful the basis for the use of this word is. And, yes, it's pretty fucking horrific. But not to be able to utilize it as a means of discussing the origins of its nefarious uses -- whether mine, yours or the patriarchy's -- is only another way to make secret what should be emblazoned across the consciousness of every woman everywhere.