Respect of Femme Sensabilities

[evolveme]

Originally Posted by Corkey

So you are basically questioning peoples honesty with your own bias? Yea I can see how that would be a problem.
I don't care if a femme, butch str8 gay trans what ever label you want to attach cusses. I'm an adult, if it offends me I'll say something. Thing is it usually doesn't unless the (word) in question is racist, sexist, agist, fat intolerant, or in other words is attacking another human being.

Well, Corkey, I utilized the term "we," in order to show solidarity and in an attempt not to "other" my listener. I knew that whether I did that or not wouldn't matter, because more often than not, and quite unfortunately, people tend to personalize the opinions of others, as you appear to have done here.

See, I use profanity quite often. Perhaps it's a matter of class conditioning and that I've never made the attempt to rewire my language so that others could feel more comfortable or accept my language as less-offensive.

As a result, and like Snow, I've been told, that I should use more appropriate language for a "lady" more times than I can count. In nearly every relationship that I've been in, when my then-partner wished to hurt me, I was told I was "trashy," not that it hurt. Corkey, I'm not trashy, but my mother was born of poor and not-even-working class people.

Subsequently, I've witnessed how much more free men and masculine people are to use profane terms and expressions. Further, if a masculine person does not hold to certain Emily Post-like protocols, well, s/he/hy's just being a guy. But far be it for a woman to let fly a "good goddamn" on a Sunday morning, brother. My opinion is that folks really don't feel the same about it. And I think there is a perfectly patriarchal, socially-conditioned reason for it.

Which means it isn't personal. Not one bit.

[Corkey]

Why are you calling it patriarchy? Adults cuss, my mom cussed often at my dad, he didn't return the favor. Perhaps it is your situation and not patriarchy at all.

[evolveme]

Originally Posted by evolveme

As a result, and like Snow, I've been told, that I should use more appropriate language for a "lady" more times than I can count.

Subsequently, I've witnessed how much more free men and masculine people are to use profane terms and expressions. Further, if a masculine person does not hold to certain Emily Post-like protocols, well, s/he/hy's just being a guy. But far be it for a woman to let fly a "good goddamn" on a Sunday morning, brother. My opinion is that folks really don't feel the same about it. And I think there is a perfectly patriarchal, socially-conditioned reason for it.

Which means it isn't personal. Not one bit.

Originally Posted by Corkey

Why are you calling it patriarchy? Adults cuss, my mom cussed often at my dad, he didn't return the favor. Perhaps it is your situation and not patriarchy at all.

I'm calling it patriarchy because I believe it is the conditions of the patriarchy (or more appropriately, the kyriarchy) that set in place the circumstances by which women and girls have been oppressed, suppressed and trained in such ways as to "groom" them (hi, Dylan) to be what is considered meek, good, well-mannered, palatable, and presentable - all so that they are more easily controlled.

What about this do you think is specific merely to my situation rather than being patriarchal?

That's kind of rhetorical, by the way.

[The_Lady_Snow]

My momma and daddy raised me to speak my mind, whichever way I choose to.



*spit*

[blush]

I reallyreally don't need anyone to protect me from words.

One of the reasons I continue to participate in these forums is I appreciate the rawness of them. How boring the world would be if we all talked and wrote like newscasters.

As far as manners and decorum go, we all know people who have "perfect" manners and slit throats. I appreciate good manners, but I appreciate proven integrity more.

I've also noticed we've(the community "we") have gotten into the habit of referencing apocryphal posts that have existed in threads and may be taken out of context and used to prove points. For me, it's confusing because I don't know the context or intent of the mystery post. Has anyone else felt this way, or does this cheese stand alone? (rlin, I'm not calling you out. It's a trend I'm seeing.)

[Corkey]

Put it this way, I was never "groomed" to be anything other that who I am, not the baby stuff, the dress stuff, not the marriage to a man stuff. That is why I call it situational, and not patriarchy.

[evolveme]

Originally Posted by Corkey

Put it this way, I was never "groomed" to be anything other that who I am, not the baby stuff, the dress stuff, not the marriage to a man stuff. That is why I call it situational, and not patriarchy.

Your first sentence is confusing. It could mean that you were groomed to be who you are, in which case, you're not leaving much room for the element of personal identity and how it might arise independent of the nurture conundrum. I, too, am a lot of things despite my "grooming." Or it could mean that despite the way you were groomed - to include your infancy/childhood, having to wear dresses, and whether or not you were married/encouraged to marry - you are who you are. Again, it isn't clear. Still, none of this - not one bit - changes the reality that women and female bodied people, and cismen and boys as well - live in a kyriarchical society and are oppressed by the conditions of that society. It effects the way we are raised, and places expectations of behavior onto us out of its power-over paradigm.

So however you, Corkey, became who you are is really irrelevant to whether the patriarchy exists and fully impacts the reality of women and girls every-motherfucking-where. It just does. To say "It's just situational," is a flat out denial of its existence, and that is seriously dangerous thinking.

[Corkey]

Sorry going to disagree with you, I am allowed to do so. If I've confused you, well here is clarification. I was not raised to be a woman, I was raised to be a human being.

[Bob]

[Corkey]

OK Bob that was dramatic, and not really to the point of my remarks. Drive by perhaps.