Happy Birthday to Gayla's Ass!

[oblivia]

~*~ ~*~ ~*~


You met me at the worst of times
And stood proud, throughout the best
But as life blossoms for us both
It gets easier to forget the rest

But I remember how it felt:
To see my life mirrored in your eyes
There with nothing but the truth, I saw
Something stronger than the lies.
Despite the chaos, you saw me
And continue to, every day
You've believed -in me, when I could not
And you've challenged me to make my way

All kinds of moments shared:
Serious, life-altering, special, new
There have been giggling conversations
and pokepokepokes on Yahoo
You walked me down the aisle
And blessed my brand new life
You showered me with blessings
And gave me away to my Wife.

A link exists between us
A relationship co-created
It's not about blood ties,
(Which can be highly over-rated)
Instead it's something unique
Something no one else can steal
It's love, friendship, understanding
It's everything that's real.

When asked, its hard to define
Or to explain who you are to me
Teacher, mentor, father, brother
Friend, confidant, family.
But even those seem to fall short
For the one who gave me away
But "Unka" is a word that says it all
(2006)

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

There are people
That will come into your life
Seemingly out of nowhere
And you find it hard to remember
How
Or when
Or why
You met them in the first place
But you can not imagine your life
Without them there.

Thinking of you
is like looking through
An old book of photographs
Torn and yellowed with age
Your presence clear
In each turned page
I smile with each memory
Knowing
There are more to come
And I wonder
When
And how
It all began.

Then I realize...
It matters not at all.

I can not remember
A single moment
I have spent with you
That did not feel
Comfortable
Warm
And Safe
And I realize in an instant
That you have never been
Just a friend.

You have always been
Meant to be
Family.

There has never been a moment
That I have not been
Grateful for you.

Your gift to me
Is your presence
And your ability to
Be there
Unfailingly
Not out of a sense
Of obligation
Or duty
But because it is
Without a doubt
Simply
Who you are.
(2007)

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Dearest Unka,

If I have learned anything in the last few years, and I'd like to think that I have, I have learned that how I define Family and how I define trust and faith and love and security are all constantly evolving things. The standards I held for my life ten years ago, look nothing like those of today. I recently came face to face with an understanding, deeper, of my personal relationship with many people from my past. I re-read these birthday poems of earlier years and see in them what I have always seen in you. Someone whom I treasure, someone whom I trust, someone who holds a role in my life that no one else ever has and ever will, and someone who embodies one simple word in my heart - Family. No matter how my perceptions evolve over the years, no matter how muddy relationships with people from the family I was born into get, or how dysfunctional my past, or even how beautiful and healthy my present - your role in my life, your friendship and guidance and protectiveness and love have always been and will always be... crystal clear.

You know me for me. You do not know just one facet of me, but all facets of me - the parts of me that have made me feel empowered and proud - and those that have made me feel scared or ashamed. You know my triumphs and my failures, my accomplishments and my embarrassments. No matter the subject-matter, I have never felt like there was even the tiniest part of me that was not safe with you. In many ways, you are my "safe space". Sometimes I think that who you are to me comes with a certain amount of pressure. You stepped into my life and into a role that fulfilled roles that had been missing from my life. Without naming all of those roles, you already know what they are. You have filled holes in my world that needed filling and you have added so much more and you have done this not by posturing or pretending or stomping all over my life - but by lovingly and completely earning my trust, my respect, and my love.

The little ways that you worry, that you advise or encourage, these 'little' things are more enormous, more significant than words could ever express. There is not one thing you've said - whether in admonishment or praise - that I have not been grateful for. There is not one way that you have participated in my life that has not benefited me in some way. I have worried, at times, that I have leaned on you overly much, or not provided as much to you in return as you have given to me. But I have never .. ever... taken your place in my life for granted.

It may be selfish, but your birthday is - for me - a sacred opportunity to express my gratitude for you. My life, all of it, and the world that I walk in every day is better because you are in it. Please... never forget that. It doesn't matter how many years of birthdays I try to tell you, my words always fall short of what is bursting out of my heart.

I love you, my Unka. Happy Birthday.