PTSD and Trauma recovery

[Liam]

Originally Posted by softness

I finally fell asleep at a decent hour and was up at 9 AM! Now lets see if I can do this two days in a row.

Melatonin...I have a friend who tried using it but it gave her hallucinations. She saw things move in the patterns of the wallpaper. Has anyone else experienced this or something like it on melatonin?

Yes, when I took 7 mg I had nightmares. When I took 5mg, sometimes I had nightmares. It seems that 3mg is a good dose for me, I sleep well, have detailed vivid dreams and life is good.

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by atomiczombie

LOL The fire happened on December 1st 2007. That is kind of a while ago now. Different scents, things like that have never worked for me. The best thing I have is reading a book. Since I have lived with the bipolar diagnosis all my life, I have had sleep issues that long too. As a teenager I once went for 3 weeks without more than an hour or so each night and at the end of that I crashed into one of the worst depression episodes of my life. I am no stranger to sleep problems. What I have learned over the years is not to stress myself out over it. If I can't sleep then I can't sleep and worrying about it doesn't help. I just relax when I am in bed and read. I know that even if I am not sleeping, my body is resting and I will eventually fall asleep. Right now I am not working so it is easier to deal with, but I do feel like I miss a lot when I sleep through half the day. Oh well. I am kind of wondering if the T I started on in the beginning of May might be exacerbating my sleep problems. Thanks for your kind words apoc, and everyone else.

A lot of my trauma happened over 40 years ago, so 2007 seems pretty recent in PTSD terms.

I have to work a shift where I have to get up and be to work at a certain time or I sleep all day too. It keeps me regular...My sleep I mean, that sounded funny!

Originally Posted by softness

I finally fell asleep at a decent hour and was up at 9 AM! Now lets see if I can do this two days in a row.

Melatonin...I have a friend who tried using it but it gave her hallucinations. She saw things move in the patterns of the wallpaper. Has anyone else experienced this or something like it on melatonin?

Never, but I have on some medicines. Spiders sliding down their web lines onto my bed and crawling up my covers, I could even feel them and was frozen. But not on Melatonin.

Originally Posted by Liam

Yes, when I took 7 mg I had nightmares. When I took 5mg, sometimes I had nightmares. It seems that 3mg is a good dose for me, I sleep well, have detailed vivid dreams and life is good.

I have always gone with 3mg too. Works great.

[Jet]

This is not an easy thing to live with in the sense that it affects almost every aspect of my life. It's changed me in ways that scare me, in ways that make me feel that I'll never get me back.

I've changed for the worse I believe; ways that I'm ashamed to admit.

[Jet]

On another topic, no...I'm not going to the reunion. Even if I could go, I wouldn't for no other reason than it's just not my thing. You'd generally find me sitting alone somewhere drinking and watching other people. I quit dancing years ago and I'm real quiet in person—mistaken for being aloof. It's just how I am. But for those of you who are going, I hope you have a great time.

[Apocalipstic]

We are planning to go to the reunion since it is really close and not in a major crazy city. Las Vegas is to. much for either of us. The sounds and lights walking through the casino alone were to much for me.

I will (as usual) likely spend quite a bit of time alone or with Cynthia, but when I can, I do want to visit with friends in a neutral setting.

I am thrilled that so many of the events are in the hotel so I can go up to the room when overwhelmed.

I love hotels and have always wanted to stay at a Peabody.

[Apocalipstic]

I did not sleepm last night, am hoping tonight will be better.

I ended up watching a minute by minute recreation for the 24 hrs after JFK's death which was very educational, took the dog out at 3am, then watched the news which did put me to sleep for a couple of hours.

[Jet]

You know, there is a lot of anger in me. Anger that things happened, anger over everything i lost, anger that my life took a caustic and unexpected turn. I've broken glasses, lamps, kick in doors, walls and everything else that I'm ashamed of.

But here's the good news. I no longer blame God. Instead, I'm finally getting a grasp that it was/is awful, that I'm his child and that he cares very much that this "thing" happened. I carried trauma as though it belonged to me, and for so long that it became a gauge for normalcy. Can you imagine that when life is so bad for so long you adjust to the point that you think it's normal? That's when life and well being is truly lost or at least in jeopardy. That's when you become unrecognizable to yourself. Never let this happen, whatever you do, grab a hold of your identity, dignity, talents, your life and your worth. I let mine go. Never make that mistake because you'll risk never making it back.

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by Jet

You know, there is a lot of anger in me. Anger that things happened, anger over everything i lost, anger that my life took a caustic and unexpected turn. I've broken glasses, lamps, kick in doors, walls and everything else that I'm ashamed of.

But here's the good news. I no longer blame God. Instead, I'm finally getting a grasp that it was/is awful, that I'm his child and that he cares very much that this "thing" happened. I carried trauma as though it belonged to me, and for so long that it became a gauge for normalcy. Can you imagine that when life is so bad for so long you adjust to the point that you think it's normal? That's when life and well being is truly lost or at least in jeopardy. That's when you become unrecognizable to yourself. Never let this happen, whatever you do, grab a hold of your identity, dignity, talents, your life and your worth. I let mine go. Never make that mistake because you'll risk never making it back.

Jet, remember every day can be a fresh new start!

You can say I work on ___________ just for today. It can be peace. It an be making a list of things that make you angry and eliminating some of them. It can be joy. But just for today, then it's not so overwhelming.

I will repeat myself.

Every day is a fresh new day, a fresh new start.

If you give up for a while, no big deal, just pick yourself up....just for today.

[Jet]

Originally Posted by Jet

You know, there is a lot of anger in me. Anger that things happened, anger over everything i lost, anger that my life took a caustic and unexpected turn. I've broken glasses, lamps, kick in doors, walls and everything else that I'm ashamed of.

But here's the good news. I no longer blame God. Instead, I'm finally getting a grasp that it was/is awful, that I'm his child and that he cares very much that this "thing" happened. I carried trauma as though it belonged to me, and for so long that it became a gauge for normalcy. Can you imagine that when life is so bad for so long you adjust to the point that you think it's normal? That's when life and well being is truly lost or at least in jeopardy. That's when you become unrecognizable to yourself. Never let this happen, whatever you do, grab a hold of your identity, dignity, talents, your life and your worth. I let mine go. Never make that mistake because you'll risk never making it back.

addendum


I'm still pissed. There is a lot of anger in me. Something happened this week that was costly to me. And i'm tired of this. Right when I thought I had things in check, it came rearing back.

[tuffboi29]

Hey guys. It has been a while but I wanted to check in.
It has been recommended to me that I try EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing) therapy. I agreed to it because, well, anything is better than what I already deal with.
So, guys, please put me in your thoughts and prayers, and lets keep our fingers crossed. I will be sure to log on afterwards to let you know how the experience went and how I feel about it. Mostly to inform you all of what it intails.


(Worried as HELL by the way )

[friskyfemme]

Originally Posted by tuffboi29

Hey guys. It has been a while but I wanted to check in.
It has been recommended to me that I try EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing) therapy. I agreed to it because, well, anything is better than what I already deal with.
So, guys, please put me in your thoughts and prayers, and lets keep our fingers crossed. I will be sure to log on afterwards to let you know how the experience went and how I feel about it. Mostly to inform you all of what it intails.


(Worried as HELL by the way )

I have heard it works for some people. Nothing to fear though. I would like to know how it works for you, if you care to share. Blessings.