PTSD and Trauma recovery

[Apocalipstic]

We are planning to go to the reunion since it is really close and not in a major crazy city. Las Vegas is to. much for either of us. The sounds and lights walking through the casino alone were to much for me.

I will (as usual) likely spend quite a bit of time alone or with Cynthia, but when I can, I do want to visit with friends in a neutral setting.

I am thrilled that so many of the events are in the hotel so I can go up to the room when overwhelmed.

I love hotels and have always wanted to stay at a Peabody.

[Apocalipstic]

I did not sleepm last night, am hoping tonight will be better.

I ended up watching a minute by minute recreation for the 24 hrs after JFK's death which was very educational, took the dog out at 3am, then watched the news which did put me to sleep for a couple of hours.

[Jet]

You know, there is a lot of anger in me. Anger that things happened, anger over everything i lost, anger that my life took a caustic and unexpected turn. I've broken glasses, lamps, kick in doors, walls and everything else that I'm ashamed of.

But here's the good news. I no longer blame God. Instead, I'm finally getting a grasp that it was/is awful, that I'm his child and that he cares very much that this "thing" happened. I carried trauma as though it belonged to me, and for so long that it became a gauge for normalcy. Can you imagine that when life is so bad for so long you adjust to the point that you think it's normal? That's when life and well being is truly lost or at least in jeopardy. That's when you become unrecognizable to yourself. Never let this happen, whatever you do, grab a hold of your identity, dignity, talents, your life and your worth. I let mine go. Never make that mistake because you'll risk never making it back.

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by Jet

You know, there is a lot of anger in me. Anger that things happened, anger over everything i lost, anger that my life took a caustic and unexpected turn. I've broken glasses, lamps, kick in doors, walls and everything else that I'm ashamed of.

But here's the good news. I no longer blame God. Instead, I'm finally getting a grasp that it was/is awful, that I'm his child and that he cares very much that this "thing" happened. I carried trauma as though it belonged to me, and for so long that it became a gauge for normalcy. Can you imagine that when life is so bad for so long you adjust to the point that you think it's normal? That's when life and well being is truly lost or at least in jeopardy. That's when you become unrecognizable to yourself. Never let this happen, whatever you do, grab a hold of your identity, dignity, talents, your life and your worth. I let mine go. Never make that mistake because you'll risk never making it back.

Jet, remember every day can be a fresh new start!

You can say I work on ___________ just for today. It can be peace. It an be making a list of things that make you angry and eliminating some of them. It can be joy. But just for today, then it's not so overwhelming.

I will repeat myself.

Every day is a fresh new day, a fresh new start.

If you give up for a while, no big deal, just pick yourself up....just for today.

[Jet]

Originally Posted by Jet

You know, there is a lot of anger in me. Anger that things happened, anger over everything i lost, anger that my life took a caustic and unexpected turn. I've broken glasses, lamps, kick in doors, walls and everything else that I'm ashamed of.

But here's the good news. I no longer blame God. Instead, I'm finally getting a grasp that it was/is awful, that I'm his child and that he cares very much that this "thing" happened. I carried trauma as though it belonged to me, and for so long that it became a gauge for normalcy. Can you imagine that when life is so bad for so long you adjust to the point that you think it's normal? That's when life and well being is truly lost or at least in jeopardy. That's when you become unrecognizable to yourself. Never let this happen, whatever you do, grab a hold of your identity, dignity, talents, your life and your worth. I let mine go. Never make that mistake because you'll risk never making it back.

addendum


I'm still pissed. There is a lot of anger in me. Something happened this week that was costly to me. And i'm tired of this. Right when I thought I had things in check, it came rearing back.

[tuffboi29]

Hey guys. It has been a while but I wanted to check in.
It has been recommended to me that I try EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing) therapy. I agreed to it because, well, anything is better than what I already deal with.
So, guys, please put me in your thoughts and prayers, and lets keep our fingers crossed. I will be sure to log on afterwards to let you know how the experience went and how I feel about it. Mostly to inform you all of what it intails.


(Worried as HELL by the way )

[friskyfemme]

Originally Posted by tuffboi29

Hey guys. It has been a while but I wanted to check in.
It has been recommended to me that I try EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing) therapy. I agreed to it because, well, anything is better than what I already deal with.
So, guys, please put me in your thoughts and prayers, and lets keep our fingers crossed. I will be sure to log on afterwards to let you know how the experience went and how I feel about it. Mostly to inform you all of what it intails.


(Worried as HELL by the way )

I have heard it works for some people. Nothing to fear though. I would like to know how it works for you, if you care to share. Blessings.

[tuffboi29]

Originally Posted by friskyfemme

I have heard it works for some people. Nothing to fear though. I would like to know how it works for you, if you care to share. Blessings.

Well, today was definitally an experience. We started with developing a "safe place"...it's kinda like something I can go to when/if I start to freak out. I have a very gentle and understanding therapist.
Next week we are goin to make sure I am comfortable with my "safe places" and then begin the actual therapy itself.
I understand it entails keeping my eyes consistantly moving, focused on an object while recounting past experiences.
The goal is to allow myself to go through these experiences and process the emotions without dissasociating myself from the emotions involved and finally begin to process them in a safe manner. To allow the brain to process and deal without overloading myself.
I will update you all further next week about the experience and every week as I progress into it.
And as a side note...I am now getting 5-8 hours of sleep a night and have been haing minimal night terrors.
I did this by taking a better look at my diet and adjusting it. Also I've been running myself half to death during the day doing anything I can to keep busy. It seems to be doing the trick for me.
Good luck to everyone. Your always in my thoughts and not too far from my heart. I hope this info can be of good use to someone out there. And thanks for all the words of encouragement. I really needed it today.
Goodnight all and take care.

[friskyfemme]

Originally Posted by tuffboi29

Well, today was definitally an experience. We started with developing a "safe place"...it's kinda like something I can go to when/if I start to freak out. I have a very gentle and understanding therapist.
Next week we are goin to make sure I am comfortable with my "safe places" and then begin the actual therapy itself.
I understand it entails keeping my eyes consistantly moving, focused on an object while recounting past experiences.
The goal is to allow myself to go through these experiences and process the emotions without dissasociating myself from the emotions involved and finally begin to process them in a safe manner. To allow the brain to process and deal without overloading myself.
I will update you all further next week about the experience and every week as I progress into it.
And as a side note...I am now getting 5-8 hours of sleep a night and have been haing minimal night terrors.
I did this by taking a better look at my diet and adjusting it. Also I've been running myself half to death during the day doing anything I can to keep busy. It seems to be doing the trick for me.
Good luck to everyone. Your always in my thoughts and not too far from my heart. I hope this info can be of good use to someone out there. And thanks for all the words of encouragement. I really needed it today.
Goodnight all and take care.

That's for sharing your experience. Happy to hear you're sleeping better. Hoping your session will pove helpful as well.