Friends of Bill W.

[TenderKnight]

I just wanna say.. Program hugs kick ass, in the very best way.. and it was a big group and i got like 20 good, real hugs

So glad I went to that meeting

[LeftWriteFemme]

July 27



Un-imbedded

This week I have decided to be braver about where I invest my time, not all of it mind you but a portion of my diligent yet strangely unproductive time. I have to say I am realizing that I hide in pretty much every area of my life and that is no way to live and a really bad example to offer. The worst thing about hiding is it doesn't keep me safe; it just subjects me to different evils. It reminds me of that poor reporter who was imbedded in a tank and he died from not moving and his blood pooling and dehydration, so the tank kept him from getting his head shot off, but killed him in a different way, so in the end he wasn't safe and neither am I. I believe in prudence as a good policy, I do, but there is much that could make me stronger, happier, better, if I lift my head a bit and reach out my hand.









Defrost things which freeze you in place

*


ALICE

Because I even wore out my welcome
at the Mad Hatters house,
I can sit on my hands at my sponsors table
And listen, listen, listen.

If I had been able to make a place for myself
with the looking glass folk
I could never let myself loose my eccentricities
And join in the fellowship.

Going down further than a rabbit hole
I lost my need to chase or scramble after bunnies
For time or card tricks.

No more illusions for me.
I am awake and shaded
by the tree of AA branching over me
Sisters I didn’t know take my hand.

[LeftWriteFemme]

July 28


Clap

I know how to put my hands together, but I am unable to clap. It’s not that my palms can’t locate each other; it’s that I cannot find the beat. I sing; lilting rhythms rolling from my tongue. I keep time and drum the tattoo of jingle dress dance songs, but when my hand comes against its mate something is off. Faltering nuance plays havoc with my exuberant desire. I want to join the crowd in syncopated applause, yet my brain drops out. Because the gap is too far to leap I must walk around to the other side and by then I’ve lost the moment, the world has moved on without me. I used to think I needed to run my routine a little faster, but now I realize I need to learn to leap the gap and trust the beat to find me.








Engender your actions with optimism

*

PRESTO

Just because I own pointy boots
Doesn’t mean I can corral the cows.
I have in my possession many things
Of subtle intent but they can’t transform me.

The wings from Halloween don’t make me an angel.
The Big Book on the shelf won’t sober me up.
Nothing holds the magic to change me.
I can only change with help.

Action, action and more action
Is the magicians slide of hand.
It slides my hand from glass to grace
I don’t need to pull a rabbit from my hat.

[TenderKnight]

Just wanted to share a little maricle with this thread..

Last night I was feeling REALLY crappy after work.. Angry, in physical pain, and just in a foul mood.. I started repeating the serenity prayer in my head and started feeling better.. Then as I was repeating it, I spot an old man shuffling toward me wrapped in a blanket.. Now, it's almost 1am at this point and kinda dead outside.. I pass him and nod and he stops and calls after me.

I stop and turn around, ask what he wants.. He asks me to call 911 for him because someone just beat him up. I call and stand with him while we wait.. I don't think he was beaten up physically, but he was very drunk and in a lot of pain.. His wife had just passed not too long ago.. I got him to a place where he could sit down and talked with him until the EMTs arrived..

On the rest of the walk home, I was just filled with awe and gratitude, even if i was in pain and tired.. But for the grace of God go I.. I am very grateful for my life and this Program. I'm also very grateful for my reconnection with my Higher Power.. Feeling very humble and grateful here.

-Tony

[LeftWriteFemme]

July 29





The Regulator


Face to face the clock stares me down. I nearly dare the mismatched hands to beat me at my part. Their never-ending round-house drops me to the ground. My foot work is no equal for eternity. Fancy days and star lit nights distract me from the fight I’m losing, directing my thoughts to what I gain. If I turn with the hours dwelling in the moments the clock and I are friends, no more mad-dogging, no time to lose. Time is with me till the end, it is not the death of me; it’s the time of my life.








Smuggle your sweetness out from under your cynicism


*

PENNY FOR YOUR THOUGHTS

There is a penny in the bathtub.
I wonder who stood in there with loose change
Possibly confused it for a wishing well the penny was tossed in.

The stories I could tell, the hopes that tantalize my mind
Elves and leprechauns, dreamers and optimists,
All trundle through my thinking.

When I don’t know the answers
At least now I can look for the best,
The sweetest thoughts.

I don’t run to the dark and threatening disasters
I have lost the lease to my personal black cloud
The one which used to follow wherever I went.

I can smile now
And think of pennies from Heaven
The first drop landed in my tub.

[LeftWriteFemme]

July 30





The Acts of Hope

I cover my head when I pray in hopes that G-d wants me sheltered. I attend meetings to keep alive the hope that sobriety is the end of isolation. I talk to the people in my network hoping I have something helpful to share. I sit down to the blank page with hopes that HP still chooses to collaborate with me. I pick up my paintbrush filled with hope that color is still my friend. I inhale air along with hope that each breath is worth the effort and I am worthy of this life.






Take your inventory but don’t sell your stock


*

WHAT’S WRONG WITH THIS DUCK

The duck looks fine sitting on the edge,
The rubber face frozen in a permanent grin
The appearance is flawless.
As long as it is not called to duty
No one will ever know.

Stay still---don’t jump.
When dropped into the water
This creature born for the tub
Lays on its side, one eye looking at the ceiling
The other straight at the bottom.

Floating is occurring but something is oh so wrong.
As indelicate as it may seem
This duck needs a big squeeze
No kid gloves and tender touches.

This duck has sucked in old bathwater
And misused ideas
Only a big push in the right direction
Will get this rancid stuff out.

Though the duck will get bend out of shape
There is no reason it can’t bounce back
That’s the wonderful thing about rubber
It is flexible and resilient
Even if it doesn’t always volunteer.

[LeftWriteFemme]

July 31



Charmed by Snow


Warm weather snow falls in fat full flakes; I am living in a world of dreams and sweet peas. Sudden dustings sparkle and surprise leaving as quickly as they came; yet the world is kinder now. Beauty is an ambush of the heart. My breath alters, accelerates, speeding me to a smile, an illustration of joy. Crows walk the edge of the hedgerow, prattling on as they do; snow to their ankles and food on their minds. I drive over the mountains discovering myself as the recipient, the receiver of all this great gift, this life.








Trek to the edge of your comfort zone and map it out

*

MORTIFICATION

Lime with envy I built a wall around.
Love and hate are enclosed, brick and stone.
Rigor of extremities, the discipline of ages falls so short.

I make no in-depth connections
I coat externals with glue
Stack reaction and let the bombs fly.

I mix and crush old habits and bad ideas, make a paste.
I am setting myself up again.
Abstinence becomes the pestle of bludgeoning and abasement.

I am hard and I am hollow
Wounded pride, I subjugate my soul
My life is reduced to a powder, I am mortified.