what NOT to do in a relationship.......

[asphaltcowboi]

Originally Posted by gayla

Just because someone thinks differently, doesn't make them up tight.

by uptight i was refering to this part of her post.


Cody...it just struck a raw cord in me. You didnt upset me..the scenario did...

[Gayla]

Again, she puts a different value on things than you do. If there is anything I've learned from this thread, it's that each of us have very different ideas of what is important in a relationship and in interactions with a partner. That doesn't make any of them wrong or right.

[Gemme]

For the record, if my partner came home with another girl's lipstick on their crotch, they'd sleep on the couch or floor that night while I figured things out and then they'd most likely get out the next day. I do not play games like that because...when *I'm* with *my* friends and some butches come up and we're all messing around and when another butch puts parts of their body on mine...whether joking or not...*my* partner would get upset, and rightfully so. That shit feels terrible and I don't want to be with someone who can so easily minimalize my feelings. I'm with softness on this one. The scenario sucks; this is NOT a judgement call on any of your past experiences, cody. Just the situation as it would apply to me.

If I were single and that happened, it would be a totally different situation because I would not have a relationship with someone else that should be honored above temporary fun.

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

Do not open the box of Cocoa Krispies they are mine, *I* like to be the one who opens them.

Riiight? I've never been with someone that shared all of my likes/dislikes in food, so there's always been MINE and YOURS and OURS. Eat whatever you want from the OURS foods, but I don't eat YOURS without permission and I expect the same to apply to MINE. If I am craving that ice cream or candy or cake or whatever and I go to look for it and it's either gone or almost gone or opened when I know damn well I didn't open it, I won't be a happy girl.

Originally Posted by SuperFemme

don't make me snuggle all night after hot sex.
i need space.

I need sleep.

[asphaltcowboi]

Originally Posted by Gemme

For the record, if my partner came home with another girl's lipstick on their crotch, they'd sleep on the couch or floor that night while I figured things out and then they'd most likely get out the next day. I do not play games like that because...when *I'm* with *my* friends and some butches come up and we're all messing around and when another butch puts parts of their body on mine...whether joking or not...*my* partner would get upset, and rightfully so. That shit feels terrible and I don't want to be with someone who can so easily minimalize my feelings. I'm with softness on this one. The scenario sucks; this is NOT a judgement call on any of your past experiences, cody. Just the situation as it would apply to me.

If I were single and that happened, it would be a totally different situation because I would not have a relationship with someone else that should be honored above temporary fun.



Riiight? I've never been with someone that shared all of my likes/dislikes in food, so there's always been MINE and YOURS and OURS. Eat whatever you want from the OURS foods, but I don't eat YOURS without permission and I expect the same to apply to MINE. If I am craving that ice cream or candy or cake or whatever and I go to look for it and it's either gone or almost gone or opened when I know damn well I didn't open it, I won't be a happy girl.



I need sleep.

ok thats why it was posted in the things not to do!!! i fought this battle once many years ago i learned from it.. and didnt realize by posting it "as something not to do" i would feel i had to defend mself..

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by cody

ok thats why it was posted in the things not to do!!! i fought this battle once many years ago i learned from it.. and didnt realize by posting it "as something not to do" i would feel i had to defend mself..

No defense necessary. We are commenting on the situation itself as it would pertain to us, not on you personally. I'm pretty sure the same comments would arise if it'd been a "Hey, I heard that someone did this once and it seems like a bad idea so I'm going to put it in here" thing versus a "Hey, this happened and it sucked, so don't do it" thing.

[BestButchBoy]

Do NOT ignore the KISS (keep it simple stupid) philosophy: When someone shows you who they are, believe them, the first time.

Thinking about it. Feeling it. Worrying about it. Will not change anyone or their behavior. You may ask for what you want (and hopefully you do) BUT. You can't change anyone, save yourself. Everything begins and ends with yourself. Empower yourself in all your relationships (and life) because nothing else will work.

Seriously.