Open Letter: Dear Femme

[apretty]

Originally Posted by blush

I always stumble over the word "supportive" when femmes are described. Because I think that is the crux of the problem. We are ALWAYS supporting. We're not jock straps, yanno? But it diminishes us. A femme's partner is situationally supportive (as in, my baby was supportive when I had my surgery), but femmes are generally and overall described as supportive.

What would I like to see? I'd like to see more recognition that we walk beside our partners. We're not in the background bucking y'all up. I'd like to see more recognition that although we may partner better with certain "types" of butches or trans fellas, every femme I know are fiercely protective of all of y'all. And, I would certainly like to see less "labeling" of who a femme is based on who she fucks. We're completely capable of deciding which community we do and do not belong to. And it has no bearing on who we are currently partnered with.

I love the parts that I bolded: yesyesyes! I am sick to death of being thought of as 'supportive'. Supportive of what, for what?! No one has an easy road of it so I would love to see the 'supportive' stripped from 'femme'. (If a butch requires constant support (in whatever form), that butch needs a mom not a lovah.)

C's Perspective:

And another thing: Show me (everyone) the respect we deserve. I don't want to hear a butch that doesn't own or wear a suit defining their desire for *high femme* as heels, stockings and skirts. Nor do I want to hear a butch define for anyone else what is or is not their own particular *femme*. I am sick of this hierarchy of *femme* and I really am sick of butches participating in that discussion (fueling the fire).

We're all worth it, F anyone who says otherwise.