Picking apart a femme

[Soft*Silver]

Yes, I have been around people who nit pick each other to death in public. Makes me wonder what its like at home in private! I cant stand that kind of behavior! And I too wouldnt tolerate it. I am glad you came to that gal's rescue!

But, again, the tone of my thread is about unintentional "oopses" that people make because they just didnt understand it could be sensitive. Like, drawing attention to my thin lip. I know my BF was trying to tell me how much he loved me because it didnt make a difference to him, but pointing out the difference made me uncomfortable. I felt like he was settling, or at the least, deciding it wasnt an issue for him. But it was an issue for me, and even when I explained it bothered me he just kept talking to explain to me it wasnt his intent.

sometimes, one must just shut up and say "I hear you". Come to think of it, I didnt get alot of it in that relationship. But I did get alot of very good stuff from him ....the balance of good and not so good is another thread tho! LOL

Originally Posted by Isadora

One of my first rules of engagement is that I do not ever discuss issues of body, emotion or intellect in public about a partner.

There is nothing more uncomfortable than watching or hearing or being close to this kind of behavior. In fact, the last time this happened I figured it was a public arena and as the "public" I stepped forward and chose to shut it down. ("This is a party. I did not come to the party to listen to you call your wife names. You are a pig and not in nice way. So take your little butch ass out of here and leave her the fuck alone cause I am bigger then you and I will crush you like a walnut. Never, ever let the skirts fool you.") Oh yes. I did. I was amazed at how many people thanked me afterward. I was amazed that 30 people at a party being horrified by such behavior did not have the tits to, at least, attempt to stop it.
I think of it as a gender neutral kind of thang. It is called human behavior. Bad behavior but still human.