Male ID Butch, Femme, FTM, MTF & the Intergendered- Open thread to All Members

[SuperFemme]

Originally Posted by AtLastHome

It is exactly our exclusionary stances that keep us from getting at the root of discontent and continue to hurt this entire community.

Gender theory and identification does not belong to one group of people, nor is its importance to social and political institutions the exclusive domain of the B-F community or any single faction, thereof.

Gay men as well as cisgendendered people use the terms butch and femme and have for centuries. So, we can't be adults and have an adult conversation about a very important subject?

I know that some of you are reacting to my starting this thread due to the prior one begun in the Trans Zone. I thought this could happen. I also thought that this thread would invite the site as a whole to discuss and help enlighten the site as a whole. And that is what is important. I just won't take part in exclusionary behavior here or in real time. The subject is too important and is not only for the transgendered. It affects everyone, especially those raising children as queer parents or non-queer people that have a Trans child and need the very organizations we all support in order to help their kids. It is an educational and social issue needing attention, worldwide.

If someone has a personal issue with me, send me a PM, don’t mess with a public forum aimed at serving the entire site. I have faith in this community to be able to have a worthwhile, drama and bias-free conversation here without factions developing. I could be wrong, but, have this kind of respect and admiration for our entire community as intelligent people with much to offer on this subject. Conflict does not have to erupt if we do not allow it and have a genuine sense of community.

I guess perspective matters, yes?

I say this with all due respect, but this post comes across as you being very defensive and upset. To the point that you say you've already decided how some of us would react to this thread? Why? Because it is not in the Trans zone?

Atlast, it is NOT an either/or situation nor is it a trans vs. lesbian situation.

Having a trans zone to discuss issues unique to trans members is not exclusionary. It is actually inclusionary. The same way that having the lesbian zone is.

The thing is this: Only a trans person (on a very singular basis) can speak to this community on what being trans means to them. Only a female id'd butch can speak to this community on what being a female id'd butch means to them. And so on, and so on,

Sometimes it is a fabulous thing to go into a thread that is in a zone that doesn't fit your label per se, and READ.

Where we keep running into problems as a community is when people attempt to speak for others, and speculate and pontificate on what it another persons ID means to them. When people attempt to delineate for others HOW they should be trans/butch/femme/<insert id here>.

That is where the breakdown happens.

I cannot come into this thread and speak authentically as anything BUT a Femme. That is who I am and the journey I am on. I can also speak authentically as a significant other of a trans person. What I can not do in good conscience is come into a thread and speak from the viewpoint of something I am not.

Gender theory and identification does not belong to one group of people. It belongs to each and every one of us individually.

So what would you like to discuss in this thread? The differences between all of our id's? The commonalities?

Or do you maybe want to have a discussion on how we can move towards a place of respecting the identities of others without coming from a place of fear?