Hate crime close to home....what is your take....

Rockinonahigh · 09-13-2010, 02:00 PM

When I started my first semester of culinary college I shure didnt hide the fact of who I was,nor did I hide the fact I was queer as they come,to my suprise there were atleast six other queers in the course of clases.No one had a prob with anything but I still kept to myself and my nose in the books cause a lot of the ppl in clas came from places where being queer was gonna get u hurt if not worse..infact three weeks into the class there was near a gang riot in bake shop cause some kid got in a wad about being in class with a faggott as he called the gay boy in the class,it took school secutity to break it up.Over time the rest of the queer group graduated out and I was the last man standing.We had gotten another chef to assist the ex chef cause of a huge amount of students in class..she was ex military..hated queers as well as anyone that didnt fit her idea of what normal was,by time we had gotten thure the first five weeks of class she had turned the 60 some odd class roster into 35 ppl..grown men left to get away from her.SHe had four hench men who kissed her a$$ for anything they could do to stay on her good side even to the point of phisyical violence,I guarentee it was verbaly abusive big time..myself an one other person was always in the line of fire.Dont think it wasnt reported to the ex chef..he said deal with it...several went to the dean..cant help u at all she said.as I only had one more semester to graduate out of college I just dug my boot heels in and did what I had to do to get done with it all.It was the blessing of whatever higher power I had then that I didnt do what was going around in my head cause I was so pissed off,frustrated,tired,discusted thet by time my last day of class was over I had an ulser from stress.I herd the school fired her not long after it was all done.I reported it to my disablity counselor..he said..what can I do..there is nothing u can do..let it go...move on.I gess the thing is in this day an age someone,not just me,had to be treated this way trying to get an education.

Lady Pamela · 09-13-2010, 02:11 PM

WE STILL HAV A LONG WAY TO GO!

Here is link to the story.

http://www.pamshouseblend.com/diary/...ds-help?ref=nf

Jess · 09-13-2010, 03:29 PM

The worst part about it all, is the closer we ( as a nation) move toward equal human rights, the harder evangelical religious groups sling their hatred. I am not really sure what they fear so greatly that they must spew such hate. I am sad that their God is so fearful.

princessbelle · 09-13-2010, 03:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jess

The worst part about it all, is the closer we ( as a nation) move toward equal human rights, the harder evangelical religious groups sling their hatred. I am not really sure what they fear so greatly that they must spew such hate. I am sad that their God is so fearful.

I agree. As they say...it will get harder before it will get easier. But, we know how strong our community is. We won't back down, even if we don't shine it brightly and keep to ourselves. We "are" and have been since the beginning of time. Equality should not be this hard...never should have been for ANY people.

Rockinonahigh · 09-13-2010, 04:57 PM

PrincessBell..they say if it dosent break u it makes u stronger,as far as I see it sometimes the price is to high when ppl dont have recorse of some kind for crap that goes on,maybe one day this kind of crap wont be an issue but it will be a long time comeing no matter what the situation is.

Lillie · 09-13-2010, 06:37 PM

I have never flown a rainbow flag or put a sticker on my car to show who I am..I am a femme and therefore people assume I am straight..Im also a mother of an adult son and a teenage daughter..so the assumptions are plenty that I am.

My partner and I live in a nice area..close to the snowbirds..we get some double takes but over the past couple of years we have noticed how many gays are actually up here in the piece of suburban paradise..we live in a great subdivision with fantastic neighbors..and those neighbors who know us..know we are gay..I mean hello! lol.....but I do live a quiet comfortable life..and the hetros are not always ready for woman like us

...I am most comfortable in my backyard with my fellow gay friends or going to the lesbian bars..but we fit in whereever we go..

I have never chosen to fly a flag other than the american, marine and airforce one..but my blood is rainbow color and I am gay and proud and privledged to love the woman I have and be loved by them..

I pray that couple can recover from such hate....but I would guess they will since they are going on 16 years togehter....that in itself if powerful!

God bless them

princessbelle · 09-13-2010, 06:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rockinonahigh

PrincessBell..they say if it dosent break u it makes u stronger,as far as I see it sometimes the price is to high when ppl dont have recorse of some kind for crap that goes on,maybe one day this kind of crap wont be an issue but it will be a long time comeing no matter what the situation is.

I agree with you...it will take a lot longer and a lot more effort than our generation. I pray that the younger ones may have a clearer path by some of us around here taking a stand in some small way...that is my wish anyway.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lillie

I have never flown a rainbow flag or put a sticker on my car to show who I am..I am a femme and therefore people assume I am straight..Im also a mother of an adult son and a teenage daughter..so the assumptions are plenty that I am.

My partner and I live in a nice area..close to the snowbirds..we get some double takes but over the past couple of years we have noticed how many gays are actually up here in the piece of suburban paradise..we live in a great subdivision with fantastic neighbors..and those neighbors who know us..know we are gay..I mean hello! lol.....but I do live a quiet comfortable life..and the hetros are not always ready for woman like us

...I am most comfortable in my backyard with my fellow gay friends or going to the lesbian bars..but we fit in whereever we go..

I have never chosen to fly a flag other than the american, marine and airforce one..but my blood is rainbow color and I am gay and proud and privledged to love the woman I have and be loved by them..

I pray that couple can recover from such hate....but I would guess they will since they are going on 16 years togehter....that in itself if powerful!

God bless them

You ARE very fortunate to live in a great place like that. I wish we all did. But, reality is we don't. I agree they will recover and be stronger for it. On Lady Pamela's link there is a site to donate clothing or food...they lost everything. It appears that there are some organizations that are providing help to them. Thank goodness. There are some GREAT people who live here...but honestly it is NOT gay friendly at all and will be decades before it is..imo. But, there is always hope.

Blade · 09-14-2010, 06:55 PM

While it is a shame such heinous crimes exist, the reality is that they do. You never know who might be a perpetrator. Being "who you are" openly, I guess depends upon how safe you feel in doing so. I don't think it matters how many of us are visible, to ignorant people. They will still be ignorant. History shows us this with race, and religion.

I think publicizing the crime comes with good and bad, as would having rainbow paraphernalia, on your house or car or whatever, if you live in a place that would be deemed unsafe. You're not going to be assaulted or your property vandalized by those you feel safe around. It will likely be folks you don't know. In the case of this article the women had already been harassed by the neighbors. So what do ya do, move? I don't know. Report each incident would be my best guess, so that it is documented.

Many generations will have to be educated before hate crimes and prejudice against the GLBT community are taken more seriously by law enforcement and society in general.

Quick comment/question for those posting in reference to displaying rainbow paraphernalia. If you were ever married did you ever fly a divorced/single flag or sticker on your car? When you buy a new TV, DVD, stereo, game system etc...do you put the empty box out by the road for all the thieves riding by to see that you have new equipment? In essence what I'm saying is do you make yourself a target? Be safe not stupid, if you have any doubt how your community perceives queerness then be safe.
(disclaimer)you being you general you. Not anyone specifically.

Glenn · 09-14-2010, 07:16 PM

I WILL fly my flag anytime /anywhere I choose AFTER I've taken proper precautions(Insurance) in protecting myself. Peaceloving/Sweetgiving will keep us here. We have to let go of our fear.

iamkeri1 · 09-14-2010, 09:33 PM

I have two general areas I want to talk about. One is about rainbow flags. I was married for many years to an FTM man. We were perceived as straight by everyone we knew outside our families. That perception of me is pretty intact today, so I hear what straight people have to say uncensored. I was at a fair in Michigan with a straight friend of mine. I noticed she had a rainbow sticker on her car. I asked her if a gay friend of hers had given it to her. She looked at me like "hunh?" (She seemed to have no idea at all that the rainbow flag was a gay symbol) Then she said it was a sticker form a Christian group she belonged to. Also two other times I have seen rainbow decos on cars and when I looked at them close they were for Jesse Jackson's rainbow coalition (which does include gays, but is not a gay group.) Then also one of my neighbors was flying a big decorative rainbow flag, but under it was a little leprecaun with a pot of gold, lol

Anyway the point is many to most straight folks do not associate the rainbow with gay issues. We agonize over everything we do, we worry, we are afraid (and I totally include myself in that group), but if you had any idea how seldom straight people ever have a thought about gay people, you wouldn't worry so much.)

The other part of this is a hate crime that was directed at me and my husband about 17-18 years ago. I tried to find a link for this but was unsuccesssful, but this is how it began. A lesbian couple was murdered by a neighbor because they put up a fence between his propery and theirs after years of bad feelings between they and he. He shot them both at fairly close range with a shotgun. It was in the news for weeks and as I remember, the guy committed suicide a while later.

Well we were having a property line dispute with our neighbors a few counties away. We had moved, so we were not at that house all the time, but we were keeping it because it was a waterfront property. One weekend we went out there and found a note pinned to our door. In the envelope (anonymous, of course) was an article with big bold headlines that read. "Lesbian lovers mudered over property dispute."

We took it very seriously and so did the police when we called them. They interviewed all our neighbors and warned them to stay away from us. The guy we were pretty sure did it came over to talk to us saying he didn't do it. (To this day he still has never come to understand the phrase, "get off my property" - gee I got that when I was five or six. Thought most folks did.) I told him I didn't believe him, that he had harrased us for years, but that he should be careful from now on because now the police were aware of what he had been doing. He continued to be a pain in the @#%, but we were never attacked in any other than a verbal way. Both hubby and I were pretty good with our mouths too, so we didn't take it lying down, but it did make it unpleasant to go to that house.

I join with others in saying, Live your life as much as possible as you wish to live it, but protect yourself. These crimes tear at our guts. I am so sorry for your pain. Just be careful in this time of stress and anger that you don't expose yourself in ways you will regret later.
Many hugs and smooches,
Keri

09-13-2010, 02:11 PM	#2
Lady Pamela Senior Member How Do You Identify?: A Lady..Femme..Free Spirit with a touch of survivalist woman in me. Preferred Pronoun?: Spiritual Warrior..She Ra..Baby Doll, or anything close..ha! Relationship Status: In perfect love and perfect trust I believe that will be directed..for now Just friends in my life. Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Live in Utah but take trips to Arkansas. Plan to move there eventually. Posts: 2,579 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,073 Thanked 5,939 Times in 1,609 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	WE STILL HAV A LONG WAY TO GO! Here is link to the story. http://www.pamshouseblend.com/diary/...ds-help?ref=nf __________________ Believe what people show you the first time. It will keep you in balance, and will show you truth! ~~ Author unknown ~~ When negative thoughts come to mind, Let them die stillborn. Speak and do posotive in any situation, And watch your dreams grow and flurish. If you can't say anything posotive, Zip it up. Do not give birth to that which you do not want to see grow. See it, Believe it, Own it, Have it! ~~ Lady Pamela ~~

09-13-2010, 06:37 PM	#6
Lillie Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: babygirl,princess,her, that girl, she! but mostly just "babygirl" Relationship Status: single Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: In the land of milk and honey!.. Posts: 358 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 406 Thanked 473 Times in 181 Posts Rep Power: 454633	I have never flown a rainbow flag or put a sticker on my car to show who I am..I am a femme and therefore people assume I am straight..Im also a mother of an adult son and a teenage daughter..so the assumptions are plenty that I am. My partner and I live in a nice area..close to the snowbirds..we get some double takes but over the past couple of years we have noticed how many gays are actually up here in the piece of suburban paradise..we live in a great subdivision with fantastic neighbors..and those neighbors who know us..know we are gay..I mean hello! lol.....but I do live a quiet comfortable life..and the hetros are not always ready for woman like us ...I am most comfortable in my backyard with my fellow gay friends or going to the lesbian bars..but we fit in whereever we go.. I have never chosen to fly a flag other than the american, marine and airforce one..but my blood is rainbow color and I am gay and proud and privledged to love the woman I have and be loved by them.. I pray that couple can recover from such hate....but I would guess they will since they are going on 16 years togehter....that in itself if powerful! God bless them __________________ *Lillie* *The most expensive jewels I ever wore around my neck was my child's arms* http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z...orizontal3.jpg http://s338.photobucket.com/albums/n...sexy/00033.gif

09-14-2010, 06:55 PM	#8
Blade Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: TG Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: once in a while someone amazing comes along...and here I am! Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Down on the farm Posts: 5,501 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,855 Thanked 14,411 Times in 4,058 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	While it is a shame such heinous crimes exist, the reality is that they do. You never know who might be a perpetrator. Being "who you are" openly, I guess depends upon how safe you feel in doing so. I don't think it matters how many of us are visible, to ignorant people. They will still be ignorant. History shows us this with race, and religion. I think publicizing the crime comes with good and bad, as would having rainbow paraphernalia, on your house or car or whatever, if you live in a place that would be deemed unsafe. You're not going to be assaulted or your property vandalized by those you feel safe around. It will likely be folks you don't know. In the case of this article the women had already been harassed by the neighbors. So what do ya do, move? I don't know. Report each incident would be my best guess, so that it is documented. Many generations will have to be educated before hate crimes and prejudice against the GLBT community are taken more seriously by law enforcement and society in general. Quick comment/question for those posting in reference to displaying rainbow paraphernalia. If you were ever married did you ever fly a divorced/single flag or sticker on your car? When you buy a new TV, DVD, stereo, game system etc...do you put the empty box out by the road for all the thieves riding by to see that you have new equipment? In essence what I'm saying is do you make yourself a target? Be safe not stupid, if you have any doubt how your community perceives queerness then be safe. (disclaimer)you being you general you. Not anyone specifically. __________________ Yeah so what if I'm triple dipped in awesome sauce? The best way to predict the future, is to create it.

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09-13-2010, 02:00 PM	#1
Rockinonahigh Senior Member How Do You Identify?: stone butch Preferred Pronoun?: makes no diffrence,I know who I am. Relationship Status: single,maybe looking if the right person comes along. Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: shreveport,Louisiana Posts: 4,907 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,682 Thanked 14,933 Times in 3,938 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	When I started my first semester of culinary college I shure didnt hide the fact of who I was,nor did I hide the fact I was queer as they come,to my suprise there were atleast six other queers in the course of clases.No one had a prob with anything but I still kept to myself and my nose in the books cause a lot of the ppl in clas came from places where being queer was gonna get u hurt if not worse..infact three weeks into the class there was near a gang riot in bake shop cause some kid got in a wad about being in class with a faggott as he called the gay boy in the class,it took school secutity to break it up.Over time the rest of the queer group graduated out and I was the last man standing.We had gotten another chef to assist the ex chef cause of a huge amount of students in class..she was ex military..hated queers as well as anyone that didnt fit her idea of what normal was,by time we had gotten thure the first five weeks of class she had turned the 60 some odd class roster into 35 ppl..grown men left to get away from her.SHe had four hench men who kissed her a$$ for anything they could do to stay on her good side even to the point of phisyical violence,I guarentee it was verbaly abusive big time..myself an one other person was always in the line of fire.Dont think it wasnt reported to the ex chef..he said deal with it...several went to the dean..cant help u at all she said.as I only had one more semester to graduate out of college I just dug my boot heels in and did what I had to do to get done with it all.It was the blessing of whatever higher power I had then that I didnt do what was going around in my head cause I was so pissed off,frustrated,tired,discusted thet by time my last day of class was over I had an ulser from stress.I herd the school fired her not long after it was all done.I reported it to my disablity counselor..he said..what can I do..there is nothing u can do..let it go...move on.I gess the thing is in this day an age someone,not just me,had to be treated this way trying to get an education.

09-13-2010, 03:29 PM	#3
Jess Timed Out - Permanent How Do You Identify?: decidedly indifferent Preferred Pronoun?: other Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Patrick Springs, VA Posts: 2,812 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,247 Thanked 5,700 Times in 1,682 Posts Rep Power: 0	The worst part about it all, is the closer we ( as a nation) move toward equal human rights, the harder evangelical religious groups sling their hatred. I am not really sure what they fear so greatly that they must spew such hate. I am sad that their God is so fearful.

09-13-2010, 04:57 PM	#5
Rockinonahigh Senior Member How Do You Identify?: stone butch Preferred Pronoun?: makes no diffrence,I know who I am. Relationship Status: single,maybe looking if the right person comes along. Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: shreveport,Louisiana Posts: 4,907 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,682 Thanked 14,933 Times in 3,938 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	PrincessBell..they say if it dosent break u it makes u stronger,as far as I see it sometimes the price is to high when ppl dont have recorse of some kind for crap that goes on,maybe one day this kind of crap wont be an issue but it will be a long time comeing no matter what the situation is.

09-14-2010, 07:16 PM	#9
Glenn Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Ol butch bones. Preferred Pronoun?: Old thing Relationship Status: Too old to play. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: :rolleyes: Posts: 1,547 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,603 Thanked 3,728 Times in 1,095 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	I WILL fly my flag anytime /anywhere I choose AFTER I've taken proper precautions(Insurance) in protecting myself. Peaceloving/Sweetgiving will keep us here. We have to let go of our fear.

09-14-2010, 09:33 PM	#10
iamkeri1 Member How Do You Identify?: femme woman Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: solo Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Central Florida Posts: 905 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 302 Thanked 2,155 Times in 659 Posts Rep Power: 16642921	I have two general areas I want to talk about. One is about rainbow flags. I was married for many years to an FTM man. We were perceived as straight by everyone we knew outside our families. That perception of me is pretty intact today, so I hear what straight people have to say uncensored. I was at a fair in Michigan with a straight friend of mine. I noticed she had a rainbow sticker on her car. I asked her if a gay friend of hers had given it to her. She looked at me like "hunh?" (She seemed to have no idea at all that the rainbow flag was a gay symbol) Then she said it was a sticker form a Christian group she belonged to. Also two other times I have seen rainbow decos on cars and when I looked at them close they were for Jesse Jackson's rainbow coalition (which does include gays, but is not a gay group.) Then also one of my neighbors was flying a big decorative rainbow flag, but under it was a little leprecaun with a pot of gold, lol Anyway the point is many to most straight folks do not associate the rainbow with gay issues. We agonize over everything we do, we worry, we are afraid (and I totally include myself in that group), but if you had any idea how seldom straight people ever have a thought about gay people, you wouldn't worry so much.) The other part of this is a hate crime that was directed at me and my husband about 17-18 years ago. I tried to find a link for this but was unsuccesssful, but this is how it began. A lesbian couple was murdered by a neighbor because they put up a fence between his propery and theirs after years of bad feelings between they and he. He shot them both at fairly close range with a shotgun. It was in the news for weeks and as I remember, the guy committed suicide a while later. Well we were having a property line dispute with our neighbors a few counties away. We had moved, so we were not at that house all the time, but we were keeping it because it was a waterfront property. One weekend we went out there and found a note pinned to our door. In the envelope (anonymous, of course) was an article with big bold headlines that read. "Lesbian lovers mudered over property dispute." We took it very seriously and so did the police when we called them. They interviewed all our neighbors and warned them to stay away from us. The guy we were pretty sure did it came over to talk to us saying he didn't do it. (To this day he still has never come to understand the phrase, "get off my property" - gee I got that when I was five or six. Thought most folks did.) I told him I didn't believe him, that he had harrased us for years, but that he should be careful from now on because now the police were aware of what he had been doing. He continued to be a pain in the @#%, but we were never attacked in any other than a verbal way. Both hubby and I were pretty good with our mouths too, so we didn't take it lying down, but it did make it unpleasant to go to that house. I join with others in saying, Live your life as much as possible as you wish to live it, but protect yourself. These crimes tear at our guts. I am so sorry for your pain. Just be careful in this time of stress and anger that you don't expose yourself in ways you will regret later. Many hugs and smooches, Keri