Neurodiversity

[JazzGirl]

Passing through seeking this place as a touchstone.

Love to you all!
Jazzie

[christie]

I have been meaning to post since Belle shared the link a while back of the blog - thanks, Belle! It came at a time when I really needed to read it!

As for Bratboy and his transition to VA and beginning his senior year at PCHS, we couldn't be more proud as to his progress. It was a lil touch and go at the beginning of the school year as he was moving from a very small, specialized school environment with less than 100 kids total in the school (K-12) and only about 6 in his grade level to a fully mainstreamed high school with over 1000 kids total and about 200 in his grade level. To say that he was a little overwhelmed is an understatement!

Riding the bus was a huge issue and just added to his stress level. Jess has been taxi driver extraordinaire and making the bus issue "one less thing" helped Bratboy navigate this huge change.

We couldn't ask for more support than from the staff at the high school. They go over and beyond to keep us informed, sometimes even on a daily basis. If there is a question or issue, you best bet that my crackberry will be dinging away with an email. We have really appreciated their quick response.

We had an IEP meeting yesterday to transfer his current IEP from TN to VA. The reports from all of his teachers - well, I couldn't have asked for better! It was also the last day of the first grading period and he has one 100, two B's and one C.

The 100 is in "resource" which is basically a study hall for him - a smaller class where he has the opportunity to have more individualized instruction if needed and a place to finish any classwork/homework assignments. The other classes are mainstream and he has very little accommodation/allowances. Even though he is dysgraphic and has traditionally been unable to handwrite at a rate to keep up, he has chosen to not utilize his laptop as covered by the IEP but to handwrite (in most instances) just like everyone else!

He is socializing with his peer group as opposed to kids who aren't his social equals - he has typically gravitated towards more differently abled kids or adults - never that equal population. One of his teachers is also the senior courtyard monitor and was telling us how he is usually one of the first out at lunch and she sees all the other kids gravitate towards him as they arrive. Rather than being, literally, on the outside of the group, he is right up in the middle of it!

While this might seem like a very small thing to most folks, its a huge thing for him and for us - its like he has reached the finish line of a race I have never been certain he would complete.

Wal-Mart is like the mall of our lil town. We can't go without him running into 6-7 kids that he knows. Last night, he went to the county fair and was telling us how he kept bouncing from group to group and it just made my heart swell to hear how he is finding community here.

One of the biggest issues I had with him in Nashville is that after school, he would go to his room and literally stay there, online (either XBox Live or some virtual reality site) until bedtime. Trying to get him to have an interest outside of virtual was like trying to move a mountain.

Now, I can't tell you all how many times watching him seeking us out, being engaged in life, has brought tears to my eyes. With my work demands, I am away from home about three-four days a week and he and Jess have really bonded and formed a relationship that has far exceeded my expectations. I love that they have this connection that is completely independent of me.

Jess has stepped into parenthood in a big way! Its never easy to be a step parent, in the best of circumstances, and I am so proud and grateful that Jess, without hesitation, has committed to that role.

I wish I could say that some of the hygiene/chore responsibility issues have magically disappeared. They haven't. But I will say that I am pleased with the progress already made and I am still hopeful that one day we will hit upon the magical button and these things will no longer be an issue. There is even a part of me that is ok with having these issues as I think they are pretty age appropriate and not related to his challenges.

He just had his 17th birthday last week. My baby is all grown up! I'm having Mommy issues!

All in all, life's pretty damned good. For the young man who was told just in May that he could not succeed in a mainstream highschool, I think he has already proven that to be just wrong. For the young man who basically came out of his room to forage for food, there are times when I wish he would go to his room to give us some alone time!

Thank you all for your encouragement and support. If I don't say it often enough, I appreciate your being here and sharing yourselves. Its often given me hope for him when I have had doubts and concerns as to life for my Aspie as an adult.

Big, mad gay love for you all,
Christie

[Ursy]

Wow Christie, that's wonderful stuff

I just love it when our kids surpass our wildest dreams for them. My Bek does that to me often - it's so heartening.

I just came in to post a request for you all, since we are all pretty blessed in our own ways... sometimes it's good to pay it forward.

My friend Tithen needs help in getting his voice (Dynavox Vmax) and an electric wheelchair. He is on the autistic spectrum, just like many of us. I would appreciate it greatly if you visited the link and watched Tithen's Vmax trial video so you can see just how important it is that he get this as soon as possible. Any donation, no matter how small, helps. Every little bit adds up.

http://www.angelfire.com/me5/lilking/Fundraising.html

And if you can't donate, that's ok - maybe you could spread the word? Every little bit helps. Tithen deserves his voice and his legs - please help him to get them!

[Ursy]

Rain Man was on television tonight, and I watched it with mixed feelings. I guess it was groundbreaking in its day, but what struck me more was how stereotypical it was... and something didn't ring true with Dustin Hoffman's portrayal for me (but nevertheless, I think he made a valiant effort). I was thinking how even today, it's referenced quite frequently when the topic of autism comes up... but watching it tonight I can tell you that that's not all there is to autism.

It was very interesting, nonetheless.

*ponders some more*

I just came up with an analogy!

Being on the autistic spectrum is kind of like having a photographic memory, but you have no control over when the shutter goes off!

Or is that just me? Lol. I remember the most random things with amazing precision... it's rarely useful.

[Jude]

Originally Posted by Ursy

Rain Man was on television tonight, and I watched it with mixed feelings. I guess it was groundbreaking in its day, but what struck me more was how stereotypical it was... and something didn't ring true with Dustin Hoffman's portrayal for me (but nevertheless, I think he made a valiant effort). I was thinking how even today, it's referenced quite frequently when the topic of autism comes up... but watching it tonight I can tell you that that's not all there is to autism.

It was very interesting, nonetheless.

*ponders some more*

I just came up with an analogy!

Being on the autistic spectrum is kind of like having a photographic memory, but you have no control over when the shutter goes off!

Or is that just me? Lol. I remember the most random things with amazing precision... it's rarely useful.

______________
That is one of many autistic traits. It's a spectrum. People with aspergers syndrome do tend to frequently have a superior ability to commit to memory, particularly amongst those topics of interest to themselves. And there are other people with aspergers who can't find their own belly button in a pinch.

[Jude]

Just posing one out of curiosity. Are there others who feel the need for more physical distance than the average person. I come from a family on the spectrum and suspect that I share some aspie charactertistics, most subtle.

What I have recently come to realize about myself is that I sometimes, even randomly, feel the almost desperate need to step away physically. I feel very uncomfortable when people are directly in my face addressing me. My daughter brought this up and I hadn't been consciously aware until now. Outside of very personal intimacy, I really don't like people's heads in my face or literally breathing down my neck. Friendly hugs are wonderful, but come with a time limit. Sometimes I just need to walk out in the midst of commotion and be alone for 10 minutes.

Does "IN YOUR FACE" send shudders up anyone elses' backbone?

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by Jude

Just posing one out of curiosity. Are there others who feel the need for more physical distance than the average person. I come from a family on the spectrum and suspect that I share some aspie characteristics, most subtle.

What I have recently come to realize about myself is that I sometimes, even randomly, feel the almost desperate need to step away physically. I feel very uncomfortable when people are directly in my face addressing me. My daughter brought this up and I hadn't been consciously aware until now. Outside of very personal intimacy, I really don't like people's heads in my face or literally breathing down my neck. Friendly hugs are wonderful, but come with a time limit. Sometimes I just need to walk out in the midst of commotion and be alone for 10 minutes.

Does "IN YOUR FACE" send shudders up anyone elses' backbone?

Ohhhh yes, I have huge personal space and especially creep out when someone stands behind me.

In fact, I keep rearranging my office trying to keep people from coming behind my desk. It makes me so tense I could shatter.

When I visit large cities like London or NYC I have to really focus on not freaking out...people get way closer than I am comfortable with. I look for openings in the crowd and go in and around quickly....but after I am so exhausted I feel like my brain is going to disintegrate. Spining doors are the worst. Why can't people stay in their own little partitions?

I have learned to like to hug, but really quickly unless I feel comfortable with the person.

People with poor personal space management creep me OUT.

And sometimes when people speak to me in parking lots, or buffets or when I am in my own world it freaks me out. I like to be left alone.

[Liam]

Originally Posted by Jude

Just posing one out of curiosity. Are there others who feel the need for more physical distance than the average person. I come from a family on the spectrum and suspect that I share some aspie charactertistics, most subtle.

What I have recently come to realize about myself is that I sometimes, even randomly, feel the almost desperate need to step away physically. I feel very uncomfortable when people are directly in my face addressing me. My daughter brought this up and I hadn't been consciously aware until now. Outside of very personal intimacy, I really don't like people's heads in my face or literally breathing down my neck. Friendly hugs are wonderful, but come with a time limit. Sometimes I just need to walk out in the midst of commotion and be alone for 10 minutes.

Does "IN YOUR FACE" send shudders up anyone elses' backbone?

I have always been uncomfortable, with the typical seventeen inches most folks are comfortable with. I am comfortable hugging only those I know very well. I am extremely uncomfortable in large crowds and rarely subject myself to them.

[Venus007]

I have a very difficult time with personal space, even sometimes from people I am close to or intimate with. If I am concentrating, overstimulated in any way (visually, emotionally, or auditory etc.) too hot, too cold or pretty much anything other than comfortable and relaxed physical touch is too much for me, it almost hurts and it disrupts my ability to think. I have learned to tolerate the accidental invasions of the people around me (it feels like an invasion often) I try not to get snippy or pull violently away but sometimes I still flinch. (So irritating when trying to appear typical) Even more difficult for me is that from people I love I need to be touched to feel connected. What a shitty conundrum.

Most large crowds are too much for me, I can make myself deal with them (although I usually avoid them) afterword I am very quiet and withdrawn and NEED to be alone for awhile.

Strangely enough I can totally handle a large crowd when I am dancing, there instead of feeling like an invasion or like pain, the touch and movement feel welcome, like I am a part a great writhing joyful unified transcendence. Perhaps because the strong beat unifies everything, or perhaps because when I am dancing I feel completely free and loose like I am in the hot center of being, or perhaps because I have a special relationship with music that over rides everything else.

Originally Posted by Jude

Just posing one out of curiosity. Are there others who feel the need for more physical distance than the average person. (snip)
Does "IN YOUR FACE" send shudders up anyone elses' backbone?