Are you OUT at work?

dreadgeek · 09-22-2010, 12:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MysticOceansFL

Does it really matter if your out at work , How you perform your job and get along with others isnt based on your lifestyle now is it ?

Yes, it matters. It matters because being 'out' at work can be accomplished with one simple sentence "This weekend my wife and I just puttered about the house..." At that moment, I am out. Even if I just changed the word 'wife' to 'girlfriend' or 'partner' I would STILL be out. Now, I suppose I could just not talk about my personal life at all with my co-workers and pretend to not exist when I'm not here. But why on Earth would I do that? Why SHOULD I have to do that? If I put a picture of my wife on my desk then I've outted myself. If I say "I love you" when I get off the phone with her, I've outted myself the moment I say who I was speaking with. I refuse to pretend that the woman I love with a depth I did not know I was still capable of is my roommate or some casual acquaintance. She is too important to me for me to do that since I do not HAVE to in order to be economically viable.

My heterosexual coworkers are constantly on about what they did with their husband or wives, or what the kids were doing, or the new person they are dating. Haven't they just stated that they are heterosexual by talking about the road trip to the coast they took with their husband? Why should it be that if I were heterosexual and talked about my husband I would NOT be putting something about my 'lifestyle' out there but if I'm talking about my wife I *am* talking about my 'lifestyle'. I reject that construction out of hand because I do not think that the word 'lifestyle' is appropriate when talking about being queer.

My lifestyle is that of an urban, upper middle-class, professional in middle-age. My being a lesbian is not a 'lifestyle' in much the same way that my being a woman or black isn't a 'lifestyle'.

Cheers
Aj

Rockinonahigh · 09-22-2010, 01:14 PM

Im not shure how things will go with my new pt job..but im just going to go and do my job,pick up my check on payday.They can think what they like or not,im not advertiseing or denying a thing.I wear a gay pride ring and u can bet this old butch wont be wearing makeup or girlie things to work.This job is in a catholic hospital thats local..im not shure what to make of that so I will cross that bridge when I get to it.Its a desk job in the records office.

christie · 09-22-2010, 02:03 PM

Like Jen, I think its important to be out at work. It matters to me that I live an authentic life. It matters to me that I believe that to change some of the negative stereotypes, I have to be out.

So yes, I am out at work. Not an easy feat considering the ownership are conservative, white males. However, I am fortunate in that we have established not just a mutually-respectful professional relationship, but also a friendship.

We have had many conversations about equal rights and I have been able to give a more personal perspective to the issue - so much so that Jack has changed his position on marriage equality and is supportive. Its really enheartening when we facilitate that process and it couldn't have been possible if I hadn't been out.

Being a small business with less than 100 employees, we are unable to offer domestic partner benefits, but Jack has stated that the moment its possible, I'm to sign us up!

Given my position of Director of Operations, which encompasses HR, I haven't had a single issue with my managing team nor with the rest of the staff. I am also involved in a new partnership venture with another local company and am also out to these folks. Once the ownership of the other company knew, they shared that they have two gay children and just that commonality eased some of the "get to know you" jitters.

Jess has attended work-related functions with me and I can't tell you how many times a week I am stopped and its not, "Hey Christie - how you doin'?" but rather, "Hey - How's "MY" Jess doin'??" LOL I think they like Jess better than me!!

sweetbutch26 · 09-22-2010, 02:44 PM

i'm out everywhere. it's kind of hard to miss that i am lez. i wear pride rings and necklaces. i'm proud of who i am

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09-22-2010, 01:14 PM	#2
Rockinonahigh Senior Member How Do You Identify?: stone butch Preferred Pronoun?: makes no diffrence,I know who I am. Relationship Status: single,maybe looking if the right person comes along. Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: shreveport,Louisiana Posts: 4,907 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,682 Thanked 14,933 Times in 3,938 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	Im not shure how things will go with my new pt job..but im just going to go and do my job,pick up my check on payday.They can think what they like or not,im not advertiseing or denying a thing.I wear a gay pride ring and u can bet this old butch wont be wearing makeup or girlie things to work.This job is in a catholic hospital thats local..im not shure what to make of that so I will cross that bridge when I get to it.Its a desk job in the records office.

09-22-2010, 02:03 PM	#3
christie Member How Do You Identify?: A Force with which to be reckoned Preferred Pronoun?: just be nice... Relationship Status: I call her Mine Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Transplanted to the PNW Posts: 1,246 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,552 Thanked 2,476 Times in 706 Posts Rep Power: 14753262	Like Jen, I think its important to be out at work. It matters to me that I live an authentic life. It matters to me that I believe that to change some of the negative stereotypes, I have to be out. So yes, I am out at work. Not an easy feat considering the ownership are conservative, white males. However, I am fortunate in that we have established not just a mutually-respectful professional relationship, but also a friendship. We have had many conversations about equal rights and I have been able to give a more personal perspective to the issue - so much so that Jack has changed his position on marriage equality and is supportive. Its really enheartening when we facilitate that process and it couldn't have been possible if I hadn't been out. Being a small business with less than 100 employees, we are unable to offer domestic partner benefits, but Jack has stated that the moment its possible, I'm to sign us up! Given my position of Director of Operations, which encompasses HR, I haven't had a single issue with my managing team nor with the rest of the staff. I am also involved in a new partnership venture with another local company and am also out to these folks. Once the ownership of the other company knew, they shared that they have two gay children and just that commonality eased some of the "get to know you" jitters. Jess has attended work-related functions with me and I can't tell you how many times a week I am stopped and its not, "Hey Christie - how you doin'?" but rather, "Hey - How's "MY" Jess doin'??" LOL I think they like Jess better than me!!

09-22-2010, 02:44 PM	#4
sweetbutch26 Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch/stud/boi Preferred Pronoun?: mr/he :p Relationship Status: single Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: Goldsboro NC Posts: 55 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 34 Thanked 66 Times in 27 Posts Rep Power: 1507	i'm out everywhere. it's kind of hard to miss that i am lez. i wear pride rings and necklaces. i'm proud of who i am