PTSD and Trauma recovery

[Dragonfly]

I'm sure I'm not the only one who comes here to read and find a little comfort in knowing you're not alone... So don't feel alone when the posting slows. I'm at the worst stage of getting to know someone, dating, when it comes to ptsd. Not just because of thinking about having to tell someone new ... Which is huge enough... But also because for me relationships themselves are a big part of what I struggle with. Abuse, physical and mental, is always there in the back of your mind ya know...? Being rushed or pushed or even yes, too liked, scares the holy crap right out of me... I don't have much else to add on it but I think many of you know exactly what its like. The worst feeling of all is knowing that what is supposed to be wonderful and joyful for so many people is just filled with unfair feelings like paranoia and panic. Its like the more I care the more afraid I get... And I have to fight the urge to run in the opposite direction... Caus I know that once I fall in love I can't stop myself from sticking it out waaay too long in so many cases. I'm getting back into counceling cause I really need outside perspective...