Mental Illness

[MsTinkerbelly]

Originally Posted by atomiczombie

Yes, my ex-wife has it and has no clue. She is verbally and emotionally abusive on top of that, which makes her impossible to deal with rationally. I have had to distance myself from her, which is sad because she has a side that is wonderful. That is the side I fell in love with, but eventually I couldn't deal with her blaming me for everything when she said things that were cruel to me. I understand that she is ill. I think if she realized what was going on and got help she could be a wonderful person to be around. But my leaving her wasn't a wake-up call, and her losing her daughter wasn't either. I don't think she will ever understand what is really going on and that is sad.

From what I have read, there are MANY different types of BPD. Mine manifests in feeling like everyone is out to "get"me, and that nothing I do is right. I am not verbally or physically abusive, I just shutdown completely and detach from life, which my Kasey HATES. I am also very afraid that those I love will leave me or die, so I will leave first or distance myself from them emotionally.

From what I have read I am one of the "lucky" ones who can actually stop themselves in the middle of an episode and evaluate whether or not I am appropriately angry. It is so darn annoying when I realize I am mad for no reason, or that I have blown something way out of proportion. If I could just do that BEFORE I get crazy I would feel so much better.

But I guess if that were the case, I wouldn't have BPD.